quintessence

Why?

2012-01-29T20:23:00.001+08:00

Ah my long hair, I miss it a fair bit.

So. I'm feeling a little tight emotionally whenever my mind spins to think of the work that awaits me. I am really getting sick of studying. Once, I have swore on what little self-discipline I have that I will never skip lectures unless necessary. I knew when it happens once, the second chance will definitely appear. I knew it. So damn sure about it.
And here I am, Year 2.2. A mere semester more before my internship and I'm showing the holy signals to lectures. Merde. I just can't stand school anymore huh.

Anyhow, there has been a current itch to bolt. Out of whenever whatever there is for me. Oh, and don't forget those miniature panic attacks that made me claw my chest. It has been quite frequent nowadays. Always have to shut my mind and lock my thoughts before I freaked out. What is really becoming of me?

This week in school is all about presentation. Something I have not done for a long long time. Wish me the best! And I really need my social life back.

I wonder if it was my course, my environment that changes everything about me. Excuses and explanations are no longer valid. Solutions and justifications are what I deem useful now. I don't want pansy explanations. I want a sincere apology. Then again, who am I to demand such when the stingy person is yours truly?
Books are good. Books bring you away, give you comfort and peace. Though they make you sad and cry, they will never betray you. No excuses, no facade, no concealment.

2012-01-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

Today I walked into the wet living room calling "mummy". My mother gave me that fake-shocked expression and went "Ah. Walk carefully arh" in a tone as if she's talking to a young child.

I love it when my mum baby me :D

Chinese New Year

2012-01-23T00:39:00.002+08:00

Hello readers. The two damn hellish weeks were finally over (thank gosh!) and I slept for 16 hours straight immediately. Woke up with a pounding headache though. Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year!

Time to get up and be known. Time to shed away the child and don on the adult. Time to strip away all reserves and welcome the open. Don't hesitate. Don't be afraid. Just try, try and learn.
Accept with a open mind to get to the next level of humanity. Leave behind any superiority. From now on you are zero. No knowledge, no experience, nothing.

So respect, learn and grow.

Working

2012-01-17T23:53:00.000+08:00

Look at my lovely piece of art, the multiple tabs that display my extreme diligence and multitasking skills. Hah!

2 down. 1 more to go. We finally submitted FEM project. Esther said she is curious about our results, I said I don't want to know, hear or even see that project again. Really. I skipped CRS tutorial today because I was seriously too too tired to handle two hours of droning. I was awake for consecutive 62 hours+- before I finally got to sleep on Monday night. It was the best sleep ever! Though, it still isn't sufficient. 6 hours of sleep will never be able to repay all the sleep debt I have accumulated the past weeks. This debt is highly capable of running the 42km Standard Chartered Marathon, twice!

Thank gosh it's over! I'm in a total heck-care attitude now. I have not even study for the accounting test on Wednesday because my brain is totally convinced that today shall be rest day for me.

With that, it's time for me to rest again. Good nighties!

Winkies

2012-01-12T04:21:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I am supposed to be heading off to bed now because I just recovered from a bad flu caused by exhaustion but I'm up editing projects. I've been eating lots of chocolates nowadays which is good and bad. Bad because I eat and eat and eat. Good because chocolates prevented my emotional breakdown during several intervals. Meaning, I didn't cry because of stress! Or rather, I didn't cry at all!

I learnt something new about myself today. Friends around me know that I think a lot sometimes. It's a fact that I know too. However today, my group mates told me that I'm scary because I constantly think. Like every minute, every second, I'm thinking without a break. They say it's freaky as even when I go to the restroom, the first thing I do when I return is to say something I thought of while... well, in the restroom! The whole situation went something like this:

Me: Eh, I go toilet.
Group mates: Okay.
* 5 minutes later, when I first stepped back into the classroom *
Me: Eh Hana the project right-
Cat: Walao Shi Hui you very scary leh!
Esther: Yah lor! Go toilet then go toilet lah! Why think so much!

Hahahaha. I didn't realize it at all. Oh, they say it's bad because I have to let my mind rest. But I can't! I don't know how! When I let my mind "rest", it wanders off and forms its own thoughts. Which beats the entire meaning of "rest" right? Though Cat said something perfectly accurate - when I'm reading my mind blanks off and let my eyes take over. Hm... This explains why I read so much books. lol
Thinking about it now, my mind rests when I'm staring into space too!

Ahahaha, what an interesting fact about me. First the tongue. Now the mind. What's next? My legs? Hahahaha.

Chocolates - a girl's best friend

2012-01-03T20:59:00.001+08:00

Chocolates, something I love very very much.

You may not get to read this but a tinge of sadness hit my heart when I read your message. Yeah, when did we begin to drift away? We have been so busy with both of our lives and people around us. So so occupied that I've forgotten to slow down and remember everyone. So keen on keeping up with life and that fast-paced school days that I forgot about you...

I stare at this bottle on my table and momentarily find myself in those days that we were so crazy. So close and so idiotic. Man, I really miss it. Really missed them so much. How your stupid jokes crack me up. How we can randomly talk about things in the our life. How you made me cry and how I can I forget - our dumb nicknames ;)

It may be simply a bottle of things I love but it means a lot. To me. A whole damn lot. A long time may have passed and both of us grew up after another eventful year of 2011. We have learned and understood how tough life can be. However I feel that you still know me. No matter how much I've changed, I know you will still be able to understand that childish, willful, noisy, idiotic, annoying part of me.

I love you, in a friend-kind of way of course.. Thank you for befriending me all these while. For stepping into my life and not leaving at bad times. For letting me see your bad times too.

Xun ka, really, thank you so very much!

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T20:58:00.003+08:00

In the end, it all comes down to whether you are proud of your life. Whether you have push your limits emotionally. Whether you have tackled the hardest question ever. Whether you let loose and went crazy without worrying about consequences. Whether you have taken your steps towards your dream.

I regret to say I have many wishes unfulfilled in my life. I have not traveled the world. Have not love unconditionally to ones dearest to me. Have not take control of my temper. Therefore, I am afraid to die. I wouldn't say my academic results are excellent but they are above average. I struggled hard to achieve them. However I realized I didn't want them as much as I thought. I made too many unwilling sacrifices for those alphabets.

I'm not living the life I want.

So this year, I am letting everything go. Letting go of negative stuff and cherish all positivism. End of 2012, I will look back and say "Damn! It was a hell of a roller coaster ride."

Last day of the year

2011-12-31T03:26:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it's 3.06am in the ungodly hell of a morning and I'm blogging. Because I always blog on the last day of a year and I'm invincible!

Yeah... Okay. I confess. I feel like shit now and all I want is to shove my head under my pillow and black out. Permanently, until...uh.... it's holidays again? :D Anyway I am up editing projects because I have to and I have no other time. I am about to head off for a project meeting in 6 hours time and afterward is work till 1am. Hallelujah!

So, the last day of the year. Year 2011.

It was a quick year. As usual, I still didn't know what I was doing. I made friends, quarreled (oh yeah, just recently), released my discipline and played like paradise. I felt stupidly hurt many times because of PMS and I thought my friends didn't want me! I know, stop laughing. Thankfully for Triplets who kept telling me to love my body, love myself. Oh no, I still haven't come to terms with my body yet but I think I'll hate myself less. I fucked up relationships (Note: I do that a lot. I don't know why) and I'm still here... Alive.

Hoo-ray!

I've become a bitch. I look at others with skepticism. And my sarcasm went up another level. I'm not getting any better from last year right? Sigh. I've learnt a lot this year. I got scared many times when reality starts approaching. And I managed to figure myself out, like what I wished to in 2010.

Things are just going to be harder from now on. My insecurities, my PMS and who knows what! But you know, I turn around and see the path I had walked. And I know I will survive because all these years, I've been stepping on Life itself. I'm glad I am alive, even though haunted by many first world pains, I am alive.

Fucking eureka

2011-12-26T21:32:00.002+08:00

Finally knew the reason why you have been running huh? After all these while, you have tried to evade the issue. Finally the answer popped up surprisingly in your head. FUCKING FINALLY~!

You ought to realize why you are so bloody tired of this world eh? Realize why you are still on your feet because the scarce happy pills around you? Realize why after each fucking time of rest, you dread the present more and more? Sure, you get motivated for countless of excuses you managed to make for yourself.

"It's a new world everyday!"
"It's okay staying like this. It's going to be alright!"

Yeah, fuck you. All optimism parts of you. You are tired because you ran after people, relentlessly. You didn't want to be left behind. You didn't want to be alone. So you ran with all you had, chasing, nearly begging them to stay with you. The thing is this - you threw away the only fucking thing you held on from the past. The only thing you ever know and possess. Your individual, girl. That's right, you threw away yourself. It's not about those that might be behind you. It's you.
You ran and ran, too afraid to stop and be left out. You are too much of a coward to stand alone in the dark. Because it makes you feel insecure right? Because it reminds you of those fearful feelings you once had?

You have got to stop... You are not a kid anymore. You have to stop looking for supporting pillars. You have to stop running after their backs. I know you will feel scared. I feel scared too. But remember those nightmares of dependency? Remember how when someone withdraws and you found yourself in a dark hole without lights? It is going to happen again and again. They won't be around as much as they would admit.

So stop chasing. Stand by yourself because you will die like you were born, alone.

Work at Christmas eve

2011-12-25T18:01:00.002+08:00

Worked with Darling at a club & bar from 9pm to 6am yesterday, or rather, till this morning. Many many things happened. It was somewhat unpleasant, in a sense but I'll just focus on the happy matters.

It was freaking entertaining. Darling will know what I mean. Hahaha, it's like Brenda and Jam&Hop all over again! Seriously. The state when one is drunk is one, shocking. Two, very hilarious. Three, makes you laugh till you cry. I enjoyed the job at the bar tremendously. Just couldn't stop chuckling and smiling to myself. The Deejays rocked the night all right. Ah, the joy of lip-syncing while working. Not something I get everyday.

Not the first time I realized but I am short. Like really really extremely short when I'm in the club/ bar. Really. While I was squeezing my way back to the staff area, my head was at the height of their chests. Female and male. And someone patted me on my head like a kid. Hahahaha. There was this kind guy who asked (or rather, yelled over the blasting music) if I need help to make my way across the room. Because in front of me, was a mass of bodies dancing, drinking, whatever. Yeah, how short I am... Hahaha.

Anyway blah blah blah, I was transferred to the bar area. And I did my usual job. Clearing, and take some informal orders though I wasn't supposed to do so. I love the club. I love the loud music and how the beat pulse through my entire body ;) But I really preferred the bar when working. The environment was great, colleagues were awesome and most of all, the guests were having fun. Hehs.

Oh by the way, I've realized one thing that one has to possess if one is working at a club or bar. That is, sense of direction. Many times I've found myself backtracking because the route I took was considerably inappropriate or crowded at that moment.

Oh my, it was a great experience.

Overwhelmed

2011-12-23T00:29:00.001+08:00

Okay maybe it's just PMS but I'm feeling overwhelmingly pressurized. Nothing to do with school, everything to do with emotions. I haven't been blogging lately (I know it). I've been out everyday doing everything except my projects. Hallelujah! I'm screwed. But that's not the point.

I went out with Jennifer to Art Friend at Takashimaya on my birthday and spent an astonishing amount of 57 bucks over. On art materials, which is a miracle because I, my friend, am no artist and I never frequent art stores, except Popular. It was an exciting time with her as we touched on forbidden topics. She is crazy. I am insane. And together, we form an asylum though we are missing Brenda and Louis. It was fun. We hunted around the town in search for materials for our secret projects. We headed back home and as usual, all work was forgotten in the presence of the honorable computer god. And the internet. We ended up watching Evolution, a movie that made me very squirmy. The worms... Oh god, the sight was horrible...

Enough of that. I had 4e1 Chalet which was, I will term it as "a fail". What happened to the 20 people who promised to come? People left early and only 3 peeps stayed over - Dong, Man Fung and me thank you very much. It was surprisingly an enjoyable time as we chatted and quarreled. We even went to watch MI 4! I thought I would fall asleep while watching it because I was really tired and it was a midnight movie. But hell no! The actions were dayum! It was terrific. The gadgets were fucking cool and I swear the concept car in the movie was the best! Oh yeah, the movie is definitely action-packed ;)

Another thing is that, I went to the Titanic Exhibition with Dong today. I miss hanging out with her so much. We went to Art Science Museum to buy our $20 tickets which I initially thought was damn expensive. An hour and a half later, I thought the $20 was freaking worth it! The exhibition is simply terrific. Fuck, I'm studying Festivals and Events Managements right now and this exhibition is like the best event ever (at least to me). Never have I been to an exhibit (okay, so I don't go to exhibitions much) that utilized 4 sensory organs. Smell, Hearing, Touch, Visual? Damn it! The word awesome/ magnificent doesn't even cover my love for this exhibit! I love it to bits! It's like the Oh My God. It's definitely a MUST SEE attraction, though there aren't much interactions. Just one thing though, that I didn't like about it.

My character didn't survive ); I felt so upset as I stared at her name. Oh why oh why? I was so depressed for those who sunk together with the ship.

Nevertheless, it was definitely an eyeopener and an experience worth having, regardless of the price. ( You know me, I'm one hell of a scrooge, but this exhibit? I am willing to go for it a second time)

Words can't help now. Let the music drown

2011-12-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

Can anybody hear me?
Am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In this search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round
Can I please come down?

I'm deafened by the silence
Is it something that I've done?
I know that there are millions
I can't be the only one who's so disconnected
It's so different in my head.
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round
Can I please come down?

Now I lie awake and scream in the zero gravity
And it's starting to weigh down on me.
Let's abort this mission now
Can I please come down?

So tonight I'm calling all astronautsall the lonely people that the world forgot
If you hear my voice come pick me up
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

And tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted off
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
To the lonely people that the world forgot
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

Can I please come down?
'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.
Can I please come down?

Dream interpretation

2011-12-09T23:05:00.001+08:00

I like to do this once in a while.

I jerked awake from my nap this afternoon. (I KNOW! A nap! Man, it has been a long long time!) I had a bad dream. Not a nightmare. Just an unpleasant dream. The setting was in a lecture theatre in my school. In my sight were people, people I knew and were acquainted with. And they were accusing me something that I was innocent of. I was shocked, hurt and extremely upset. I objected and tried to convince them that I didn't do it. But no one believed.
No one.
So I kept mum, feeling the undercurrent of rage within me. Oh it was horror. The scene then changed and I was walking out of the theatre, preparing to go somewhere when I saw Jennifer. Fuck, she was like my anchor in that dream. Joy and relief poured over me as I rushed to her and told her what the bloody hell happened. I just knew that she would believe me and hell, maybe even stand behind me. I was explaining the details when someone (I forgot who) came to grab my hand and apologized to me profusely. She went something like "Oh I'm so sorry for doubting you. Sorry for accusing you blah blah blah.."
Warning! My reaction was so expected and fake alright. I turned around and smiled at her, telling her "It's alright. I don't blame you." As I spoke, my heart was holding on to that grudge.

LOL! Totally out of the blue. But here's what I got.

Being accused - Indicates that you are feeling guilty/ having doubts about yourself and the choices you are making
Apology - whether it is about giving or receiving one, it is related to friends. You may lose one friend and gain another or perhaps be surprised by the return of a former friend.
Hypocrite - you will prove yourself a deceiver and be false to friends ):

Oh well, it was entertaining to try understand something that I never will. Till then folks! I have to study for my upcoming accounting test.

Meet up

2011-12-04T22:52:00.001+08:00

I had planned to take the flyer today with Dong and Inez but my application didn't go through. So after doing some site research at the flyer, I went to meet up with Dong and Inez. It's the first time I'm going out with Inez and I talked to her more than I talked to Dong. Haha.

We planned about our Taiwan trip as we talked about people, family and school. It was really nice to just talk without people judging you. We had Starbucks and after settling into that big comfy chair, we didn't budge until 3 hours later.
Yeah... ;)

We had Just Acia for dinner and continued our chatting. I wasn't usual self because I caught myself yawning.

I need sleep and rest and a hell lot of holiday. Persevere till March girl!

Can't wait for Taiwan. Both my parents gave the green light!

Internal conflict

2011-11-30T21:51:00.001+08:00

Hello.

It has been a long time since I came to my dashboard. Tomorrow will be the first of December, my month. Time flies. Every day, there was something for me to blog about because somethings happened. But I couldn't find the time or rather, this wasn't on top of my priority list.

I signed up for Run For Hope as a volunteer to be a road marshal. I thought it would be as fun as last year, where I got to meet my two new seniors. It failed my expectations. Because of the shortage of manpower, everyone was spread out far away from one another to cover the long distance. We had to hold motivational posters and cheer for the participants. And I don't mind except it is pretty awkward for one person to cheer as the runners listened to the music to pace their steps. I thought it would be a better idea to put three people a team and spread each team even further away.
Anyway, I met some runners who were really friendly and repeated my poster's message - Hand in there! I saw a very beautiful dog who went jogging with his owner. It was only 8 months old but had a similar size as a golden retriever. Its fur coat was strikingly white and incredibly soft when I ran my hand through it! What a lovely creature. I longed to have one too :)

My Grandma was hospitalized many days ago and the doctor diagnosed pneumonia. My mum messaged me the news while I was in school and I was shaken for a moment. What if... became a serious question. My Grandma is old, more than 80 years old if I'm right. I had this not-so-filial internal struggle with my conscious. I know I am really incorrigible to feel this way but it was a raw truth I couldn't deny myself. I was worried about the worst scenario I foresee someday. I wouldn't be able to cope, I just couldn't. I am not strong enough. Regrettably, I am still not independent enough to stand upright.
I went to visit my Grandma at the hospital with my family and I was so tensed up while I was there. She was so extremely frail on the hospital bed and her teeth were chattering constantly. I had this déjà vu feeling because I was in a similar state in the hospital before. Then I got scared. Fear penetrated into my bones and I wanted to bolt to the toilet and cry. I wanted to cry about what may be about to come, about the fear that kept me from reaching out to the possibilities, about my lack of courage in my life.

I realized I didn't want to try continue my life like that. To place studies as my center. I didn't want my old life anymore. I refuse to live the pathetic life I had until that moment. I was too caught up in the material world where money and qualifications are the main concerns. No, I won't die like this. Even if my parents object, I am going to travel. I am really going to see the world. No work is going to fucking bind me anymore. I refuse to die without seeing the world. Life's short. Too short. So let things and people be damned if they are in my way.
Really, just screw the past me.

Some quarrels are too minor and insignificant for you to put in effort and explain. I give in. I ignore. Because it's pointless to win small battles like this. If it gives others satisfaction and you peace, why not? Don't dwell too much on details and words, you will be living miserably.

Choose your battles wisely.

I'm badass

2011-11-17T22:17:00.001+08:00

I rushed out my project like there's no tomorrow today. I'm surprised at my speed.

I'm still behind schedule even though my outline is done. Thankfully I didn't accept the request to work today or I'll be damned. Things are getting so hectic and I haven't got the time to settle and think. School has been a unrelenting wave motion pushing me further and further away from the shore. I'm losing my footing.
Anyway I've learnt more things about myself during these two days and they did nothing to inspire my motivation.

I feel us drifting away. I feel jaded. I feel my cowardice.
I need my anchor.

Impromptu much

2011-11-15T21:15:00.001+08:00

I am a water jug today, chugging water down my throat like a dehydrated person. I was seriously thirsty. And I had to go to the toilet many many times. Cat says I seem to have an obsession with toilets. Haha.

After school today, my group decided to head over to Singapore Flyer and do an impromptu site research. It was an enjoyable albeit short 30 minutes ride. Had lots of laughs today. Can you believe it? We had like a project discussion in a capsule! #Likeabusinesswoman yeah? And we met two ladies from South Africa who I believed, were pretty entertained by the antics of Hana, Mandy and Cat. Hahaha. After the ride, we had planned to head to TAS for another project's sire research but time flew and Hana had to go for her dance practice.

Have to rush out my CSIT outline now. Realized I'm getting more and more complacent. I want to shake off the burden grades hold over me. Then again, I want to do well.

I love to see people being happy. Yet it tortures me when I see their smiles. It's like I'm happy for them and sad for myself. Self-pity in action? No. But I can't help but wonder what if I were them. When would I be them.

Tibits

2011-11-14T20:57:00.001+08:00

This morning was a torture. I woke up feel as if my body has been slogging its guts out for weeks and barely got a 2 hours rest. My eyes burnt like a freaking charcoal. And my tummy was rioting against my probably-broken-down-curry-fish-head from yesterday's dinner. I felt sick.

So did most of my classmates. Hah, a coincidence or what?

Anyway, we headed to the Pastry/ Bakery during Culinary in the morning. #LikeFunOnly! I had fun even though all I did was to measure baking powder. I am so looking forward to my Pastry lesson in SL, next year! After our break was test which I swore was pretty smooth till at the end where I was rushing like a bull. My tomato skin simply refused to peel off in a single big piece. Even though I had blanched it. And my fish was a tad too salty.

This is the interior of Vineyard @ Hortpark. A very lovely restaurant with WINES! I had the pleasure of working in it during an event. Do give it a shot if you want a tasty delectable meal in a chilling environment.

This is the electronic fireplace that I was extremely entranced with. I could stare at it for hours if time permitted. I swear I'm going to have that in my new house in the future. A must-have piece!

This is a somewhat mosaic piece of art... No I kid. Just tiles with different colours. I got to work in Space furniture and I found it quite lovely.

Food!

Desserts!

Rush rush rush

2011-11-13T18:29:00.001+08:00

I feel like a tiny adult now. A small little child running around in the Society. It's tiring.

Last week was a bad decision of my part.
1. I agreed to work on school days.
2. I accidentally released my "be responsible for all your shit" part.
3. I agreed to go all invited events.
And to add on, I wasn't feeling myself. In other words, I wasn't using my head at all.

All of these above has gave me a heap of problems.
1. My hands are bloody hell aching.
2. My schedule is off. Meaning, my tutorials and projects are not on track.
3. I spent half of my only off-day (which is today) sleeping with my ass burnt by the Sun.
4. I'm so excited for dance. Too excited that I can't concentrate on my projects.
5. I wasted an hour travelling from TP to Macpherson MRT then to Expo when I could simply take a bus to Tampines then to Expo. See! I wasn't thinking.
6. I had to rush to 6 different locations in one day. Felt like a working lady in New York (you often see them rushing everywhere in movies)

Worst of all, I had no ME-time. No time for myself. Sigh.
Bad time management.

Just another

2011-11-09T20:38:00.002+08:00

Grabbed from Jefferson's facebook photos. This is the wall where we wrote our precious wishes, and where scribbles took place.

Yes! So today I woke up at the best time of 2pm... because my school STARTED at 4!! *Wriggles in happiness and joy* Today was the best solution to curb my sleepiness. I went to school for a 2 hour tutorial before heading home again.
Tomorrow I have work at Bugis at an I-think-it-would-be-an-awesome-venue called Space. I have also bought my scheduler my life is depending on in the future. I love to blog more but I don't have much time tonight. Just a few words and advice before I dive back to my homework.

Dong, I wish your first paper was fantastic and I wish you the greatest of luck! See you in a month's time ;)
Ying, a steel heart shouldn't be the thing you wish for. True enough, it helps you to survive some situations but ultimately, it will turn you into a monster.And I'm not allowing it.

Watch me.

AUDIO MOB

2011-11-07T00:22:00.001+08:00

HANDS DOWN TO AUDIO MOB!!

It was an awesome event! MOBBERS for the win! I am so so glad I came for the event.

Patricia eating!

I woke this morning, feeling very lazy. I didn't want to go out at all. Not to meeting my friends, neither to go for AudioMob. So I lie on the bed and tried to motivate myself. AudioMob will be my first flash mob event! Nope, not working. I'll get to meet new people! Uh-ah, don't feel like it.

If I wake up tomorrow, will I regret not enjoying my life to the maximum today? And... That did the trick. I got out from bed to prepare. Turned out I was right! The event was indescribably fun! Hell, I shuffled on Orchard Road, did the freeze mob for nearly 5 minutes and gave lollipops to people inside the cars! People I met were hilarious and funny. I saw my dream soaring into the night sky (felt so touched at that moment!) Last but not least, I partied at the end. Clubbed like no one's business. Hahaha! If only S.V. was there to match my grooves ;D

Too bad Patricia didn't tell me about this event earlier. I knew about it like last night? So I couldn't call anyone. I'm so going for it with S.V. next time!

Waiting for the signal to release the balloons

Mobbers' dreams! Beautiful dreams waiting to fly

My dream, the ultimate blue

Releasing in progress

Fly, our dreams. Rise, fly and soar!

During the event, I was to complete sentences and write down my dream. Here's what I wrote.

Before I die, I want to... Travel around the World!

My dream: I want to live. I want to smile without sadness. I want my life & world to be beautiful again!

Short post

2011-11-03T17:24:00.003+08:00

I saw Dong this morning, or rather she saw me! Haha, I wasn't very responsive because it was morning. And also partially because I know that if I start, I wouldn't be stopping anytime soon for I have lots to tell. It has only been months since I last saw her but it felt like years. No kid, Years.

Anyway tomorrow's finally Friday and there goes the second week of school. I'll be out for meeting on Sat and Sunday is "cheeky" time ;)

Short update. See you soon.

Halloween

2011-11-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

A little late as usual but here's what I did to celebrate Halloween...

I went to help out at TPJCG halloween.

Yeah. Same as last year. Just that I didn't sign up as a volunteer this year. I came just for the sake of the three other piglets. I went to help out at Patricia & Fiona's room. Became the 'music director' of the room that sits at the 'office' all night long. Hah! Of course, Me being me, couldn't stay still at a place. So I ended up going everywhere. To the make-up room to help with the make up. Going to the cafe and created trouble for Wan Wen. Going to the registration counter and talked. Then going back to the cafe to help others buy their food.

I was the sai kang warrior of the day. Anyway, pictures are below. Enjoy!

Champagne Showers!

2011-10-27T22:44:00.003+08:00

I am feeling very tired right now. And it hasn't been a week since school started. And I just had a nap before dinner. Yesterday's party really did drained my energy. And I had too much of a drink because I had free access to all the alcohol in the shop. Hahaha!

So I went to meet the F1 peeps at Chinatown MRT before heading to Fox & Spoon, Mr Paul's new shop for his birthday celebration. We went to help around or at least I offered to, but everything was almost ready. Jx was like the hired part-timer of the shop seriously. He was moving here and there, busy setting up while others just sat around and talked. Like a bunch of lazy bums. Haha. So we caught up with one another while the part timer did his job FOC. The dinner commenced at around 7.15pm and Bevin and I were the first few to eat. Because we are Singaporeans and Kiasu is our trait! Lol, no I jest. It's because we were too hungry.

The food was delicious. I loved the Shepherd Pie very much! And that smoked Chicken! Ah, food is The God as always. It was during dinner that the alcohol started to 'enter'. I tried everything. From Champagne to Vodka to Dessert wine. Except red wine because I felt too dizzy to drink already. Blame it on Jx and Garry who were feeding me cups of alcohol one after another though I have to say, the alcohol was good too. Haha! I love Jx's mix of Vodka peach and Sprite so much that I tried mixing it myself. All I got was a bloody horrible taste :( I felt so sad then.

Oh, I love the coke mix as well. And that Champagne Rosé! Aha, I love everything.

The party was a huge blast with lots of fun. Michelle and I got a little dizzy from all that drinking that we had to sit down. And I had to down 4 cups of plain water. We were like laughing and getting a tad too high. When we speak, one would think that we were drunk but we weren't! The below pictures were taken while I was in the state of, MY word, saeh. It's a state before you are drunk and after you are dizzy. I have no idea what's that called in English so yeah, I use my word.

This guy, the one on the left was totally drunk. He was sprouting nonsense and I was stupid enough to stop and listen what he had to say. LOL!

Ivy Jie! :D

The guys wanted to sent us home after the party but my house is too out-of-the-way. Like hello? I'm the only green-line girl. So I showed them I could walk in a straight line and not fall down. I was doing a bloody good job proving that I was sober and well enough to head home when a blunder appeared. I put out 5 fingers and said "See? This is five!" Then I put out 2 fingers and said "This is three!" (.__.) I could knock my head with the wall. I swear the problem lies with my mouth because my mind said "2!" Anyway, with my mistake, the guys were adamant to send me home. So while Michelle quarreled with the decision, I decided to play cool. Hahaha. In the end, I got what I want ;D The trick is to shut up actually. Because if I don't speak, I don't look drunk. Really! Look at the picture below. I took it before we left the party. I must be sober enough to take a straight photo yeah? Yeah!

Heading home with Balloons!

No school

2011-10-26T00:51:00.001+08:00

I BLOODY CLEANED A DEAD CHICKEN!

I feel so good right now. So proud and accomplished because I did the impossible in my life - to clean the insides of a dead chicken during my Culinary lesson. It was a horror. I felt the bones and touched the headless neck and... *Trembles* Just Oh. My. Hell. It was like a live action M18 gore movie! As most people know, I am a carnivore in a sense that I eat more meat than the usual Asians do. But the irony is that, I'm scared of dead animal carcasses. Yeah =\

Anyway today is a no-school day for me and I met up with Jasmine (Finally!). We had a long long chat about everything and whatever is going on in our lives, others lives and whatsoever. I even went to her house! Nothing changes in her room. Haha. My last visit was like what? 4 years ago? Seemed like an eon to me. Had a great time excavating and ransacking her closets. A very bad habit of mine..
Her mother said I was more 'open' now and she couldn't recognize me! She took a look at me for a tad too long that I thought something was wrong or what. Hahaha! Today was good, even though I should have spend my day on school work but some sacrifices are worth it I guess ;)

Iron Crowned

2011-10-23T18:42:00.000+08:00

I've just finished reading a book whose plot is so screwed up that I can't help but cry. I mean it in a good way by the way. I shared the protectiveness the main lead felt when she knew her babies have to be aborted. I wanted to scream at how Father can come to such a decision so quickly, even for the greater good. Thank god for the younger sister and her coffee table attack. Hah!

Anyway after reading this book, I realized that I wouldn't and couldn't survive to betrayals back-to-back. If that sort of things happen to me (which it wouldn't because I live in a GOD DAMN IT realistic cruel world), I would turn cold and go on destructive mode. I mean, come on! Who won't be displaying the holy gesture to the entire world when given such situations?

Feverish from ITB

2011-10-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

Yes, there has been again another period of time where I was missing. You can't blame me. I was working for ITB. Waking up at 5.30am every day and heading to bed as soon as I had my bath, I didn't have the time to nurture my relationship I have with my keyboard. And to top it off, I fell sick on the last day... which explained my 17 hours of sleep tweet.

ITB was very eye-opening. I met more HTM people as well as getting the time to reminisce the O' good days with Veron. I saw many many good looking guys and big shots (Jennifer will be so jealous!) and well, I learned that I would probably never be in the tourism line in the future. Seriously, our seniors are so awesome in a sense that they are so professional! Something that I don't see in myself now, or in the near future.

Anyway, I spent the entire day in my bed reading a book. It's like THE perfect day. You know, snuggling under your blanket with a book to read as it rains outside. Maybe I can do without the faded-fever feeling but still? It's lovely today!

And, I know that I haven't been up with my holiday trip update because I'm still working on my motivation. on it. Maybe I'll do it soon, maybe I'll forget about it. Who knows? I just know that school is starting and I have been working too much to enjoy whatsoever holiday! Damn it. And Culinary Science is on Monday. Sigh. Guess I've to rest more so that I will be in full working condition on Monday.

B. FLOURNOY IS MY FLAWED EYE CANDY!

Sorry, I just had to do this declaration of love thingy before I go off ;)

Aloha

2011-10-12T22:29:00.003+08:00

I'm back for more than 3 days now. And I am too much like a bum to start blogging about my holiday at Cambodia/Thailand, which explains the missing hiatus reason for more than 7 days.

I went out today, with the three other girls again. We have been spending too much time this holiday, more than I have with S.V. As usual, I was late because the weather was soo good. And my alarm clock wasn't working. I rushed and met up with Patricia who I collected my Culi uniform together at some isolated factory again. We then had lunch at Raffles City's the food place. I know, such a miracle right? That I ate at a normal place and not some western fast food or other restaurants that serve dishes without vegetables. I promised my dad that I'd eat "proper food" (in his terms) and because dear Patricia was down with fever. Seriously, I don't get how she could still go out and walk around like nuff'. I know I'd be groaning and sighing on my bed, refusing to budge a single inch and wanting my meals to be served to me if I'm sick.
I'm not spoiled! I'm just well taken care of.
Right, then Fiona and Wan wen joined us before we hurriedly went to purchase tickets for 'Real Steel'. I swear it is an awesome show. Kudos to Dreamworks again! I love the action. I love the comedy. I love the soundtrack. I really love the entire show. Too bad I was in a cinema or I would be squealing like a mad kid. Haha.We then walked around mindlessly, in search for a place to have our dinner. Like Wan wen said, "We walked and let our legs bring us to wherever they want."
Though in the end, we chose Pizza Hut.

We sat at Pizza Hut and chatted, talking. I think I was pretty silent though. Cut through a few conversations but otherwise my mouth stayed shut. I don't know why. I just didn't feel like talking. Must be one of my PMS moods again. Then again, it shouldn't have been because my mood wasn't feeling particularly erratic. I was tired I guess. Tired and sick. Hm.

Anyways, we soon headed home and look what I saw.

A group of girls lighting up those Chinese lantern and releasing it into the night sky. It is those sort of things you see in Chinese Wu Xia drama but never in Singapore. So I stood outside my house, staring at it as the lantern lifted itself higher up into the sky. About 5 minutes later, the fire within vanished at the height of the clouds and the paper started to fall.

Look at it rise.

Then when I was in the house, my dad called me. I looked out and saw a police car approaching. Lol. The girls got a warning in the end. But the scene of the lantern in the sky was a pleasant comfort.

Like a puny torch against the vast night sky. Rising like it knew no limits until air ran out. Until reality crashed in. And it fell.

Girls' day out

2011-09-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

We were late. As usual. Wan Wen, Fiona, Patricia and I were supposed to meet at 1.30pm at Somerset MRT but everyone was late. It's okay because I have reasons. The perfect excuses. First, my will was weaker than usual. I said to wake up and 30 minutes later, I was still in bed struggling to put one leg on the floor. I don't know how but my feet always, somehow manage to slip back under my blanket. Hm, such a strange phenomenon. Next, I had to bathe the old-fashioned way - Pail and bucket. Because of some unknown reasons and my horrible luck, the in-charge of my HDB decided to repair the water pipes TODAY. It was horror. I swear if war starts, *touchwood* I'd be the first to die because I won't survive.

We met up like 45minutes later, everyone wearing dresses. A rare sight. A rarer sight to see me in it. Haha. And Patricia cried! For what I have no idea. I was rooted to the ground, a blank in my mind when she started tearing. Then I started darting looks to the other two girls for help. Hahaha.
We went to eat at Mos burger and started chatting up, filling in details of what happened to who, when and how. The usual gossips and sabotage topics came up too, naturally ;)

Shopping began like 2 hours after our lunch-tea break. And it barely lasted for 15 minutes before we decided to catch a movie. We went to Shokudo to have dessert and restarted our conversations again. Girls, you know how chatty we are and can be.

Because time was still early and we had enough of food, we headed over to the cinema lobby and waited. I talked to Fiona and realized that we had encountered similar situations, situations that badly/ greatly shaped our characters. Then we talked and talked again after the movie before going home.

Today's pictures!

Sleepover

2011-09-29T01:18:00.000+08:00

It had been a long time since I went over to Darling's house. And an even longer time since I had a sleepover with Triplets. So I arranged one the last Tuesday.

We met up at Tam MRT first for lunch. And I filled them in with interesting F1 happenings that I knew of. We were, once again, laughing and stomping our feet hard at the Kopitiam while trying to breathe through the laughter. It was so so fun to chat with them again. S.V. has a wicked sense of humor that no one has been able to top. Seriously, "Yam Seng" to "Cheers"? Only they will speak like this. Hahaha.
Anyway we went on to catch Johnny English which was hilarious from start to end. It was so entertaining that my 'extremely-noisy' laughter came out. Hahaha. We headed back to Darling's house and I got addicted to the Tiny Tower game. Then we danced and had our dinner with Darling's family. I showed them the funny James Mr Paul told us. Heh ;)

We prepared for bed at 12am (a little late, yes.) and I was planning to turn in early because Jennifer was supposed to go to school the next morning. Look: supposed to. But being girls and the chatty beings we are, we started talking about girly stuffs and playing the Shoot Shag Marry game. I was laughing so badly that I knew my laughter was clearly audible from outside the room. I managed to hug Darling's baby bolster too! :D

So, we REALLY went to bed at 2 near 3 I guess because I myself was really tired.
However,

I didn't catch much sleep because I was so worried that Jennifer would miss her alarm clock. The next moment I opened my eyes, the sky was turning dawn. I nudged Darling and told her to wake up because it was time. She stretched her hand to her phone and looked at the time and mumbled a "not yet" before going back to sleep. And I thought, "hm, it's fine since she saw the clock." So I went to sleep too... with the exception of the sudden wake-up jerks by my darling Jennifer.
Never mind that her restless movements deprived me of some sleep. The next time I woke up, the Sun was shining very brightly. This time, I took my phone and looked at the time. "9.06am"
Jennifer was supposed to be in school by 9.30am. I looked to my side and found Brenda to be awake too. She patted the arm of the Sleeping Beauty-called-Jennifer while I nudged the dead log awake.

"Jennifer~" Brenda called.
"Darling." I nudged her softly again. That dead log did not move a SINGLE inch! So I raised my voice by a little. "Jennifer! You going to be late already!" I said, with that great sense of urgency my mum always used to dupe me to wake up. You know what she did? You know what that sleeping beauty did!?

SHE GRUNTED!

She grunted and went back to sleep! Oh my god. I gave up waking her instantly and told Brenda that Jennifer was so going to be late. Hahaha! Seriously! She's so much worse than me all right! Hahaha, I can't believe she simply grunted when I told her she's late. Ahahaha. I had a super great laugh when Brenda told me Jennifer woke her up at around 10.30am to ask for towel.

Seriously darling? I swear you are the extreme.

Crashed event 1

2011-09-28T01:20:00.000+08:00

I have a lot to say now that I've been through so many eventful days. Let me start with F1.

I was working under Tung Lok for the first time for the F1 Grand Prix race. I was assigned to the Celebrity Chef Lounge (Celeb for short) which I didn't really like much at first because well, I see no celebrities. But I still went for my 5 days of work - 2 training, 3 actually F1 days because I'm dedicated enough. Hah, I jest!
I worked in Jean-Georges satellite restaurant, a 3 star Michelin chef from NYC whose restaurant is among the top 10 in NYC. Honoured? Naturally! But before that, I'd never heard of it because I'm no gastronome. Like Michelle buddy, all we knew was Pizza Hut or Subway and other common F&B outlets. Haha, I know it's so laughable. Anyway we met Jean George in person who is really very friendly. I kept forgetting he's French so when he spoke French to his colleagues, I was a little surprised. AND being the typical amateur I am in French, I couldn't catch a single phrase.

The Restaurant

Restaurant interior. So pretty right?

We worked under 3 In-charge (IC) namely James (I think Service Director of Jean Georges) and Mr Paul and Ivy Jie who are under Tung Lok. James is... Hm, I can't put his gestures and postures to words but I can totally show you if you are interested to know. He's also a very encouraging team IC and during his roll calls (i.e. Pre-service briefings) I can totally imagine how service crews in NYC work and how their working environments etc. He is meticulous, partially like Mr Chong my previous service instructor, or maybe more when it comes to the inspection of the entire restaurant.
Mr Paul on the other hand is like Mr Goh, the big service boss in TCA. Hah! I mean their temper are similar but Mr Goh falls more towards the extreme side. Mr Paul cares a lot about our team members and I seriously believe that this F1 job is probably the first job that the IC actually teaches something. Like I've really gained something and I don't mean muscles aches or bruises. I mean knowledge and understanding and something else I can't pinpoint what. He's also very funny, flexible and encouraging. You know how there're times when after a day of work, you felt so exhausted and when the IC debriefed, you were irritated and annoyed because of your tiredness? Well, nothing of such happened. Everyday... Or night, or dawn (I don't know how to put it because our work ended past midnight) when we had our debriefs, I was tired. Everyone was exhausted. But we were still laughing and smiling during debriefs or when during post-operations. And I think it's fantastic that our ICs were able to make us feel rewarded after a long day of work.
Ms Ivy was the awesome assistant behind Mr Paul. I saw how she worked and interacted with the guests and really, I just feel she's awesome. Like she's at a level I still can't reach. Hahahaha.

Okay back to tracking of my work days. The first day of work was my first training day and we went home 6 hours earlier because the restaurant wasn't set up yet. But we managed to learn the names of our colleagues for the next 4 days.
Second day was where the real work started. We had to clean plates and cutlery. Oh, not the usual number you get in Top Table. We had 12 types of plates and 3 baskets of each type... or more. It was arduous but I had fun because I've picked up important skills from Gary, my former Master. Of course, after taking his lessons for 10 minutes, I'd completely surpassed him ;) Michelle buddy was like my assistant because I am a total sucker in opening packages. We had our lunch at 4pm and everyone was so hungry. Thankfully, Mr Paul had biscuits and bread in his bag to last us till our food came.

Repeat after me: Food is heaven! All hail food!
So BOW before the honorable food.

No really.

When F1 day 1 just started, it was havoc. Literally chaotic. People just kept coming and I kept clearing everywhere. The traffic was never ending and we nearly had to forgo our dinner. Our ICs did and it just added up to the respect I have for them. But no matter what, Day 1 was a complete mess. Stewarding was so jammed up that stacked-up plates were on the verge of falling. So at the end of the operations, many changes were made - to how service ambassadors are going to allow guests to enter and of course, the stewarding area. Because crowd control wasn't properly managed, we were allowed to close the restaurant early (lucky us). All service crew was tired beat and it was probably a shock for some. Even I was struggling.

Day 2, everything went smoothly. Changes made helped a lot in the operation and I managed to push myself to carry more cutlery and plates than I thought I could. I'm so proud of myself :D Hah. During operation, when we (the service crew) walked past each other, we would share interesting happenings at the restaurant and I would grin ear to ear like a retard while clearing. Haha. Anyway after the last guest, everyone was so chatty when polishing cutlery and glasses. Mr Paul said that our mouths were extremely energetic after the restaurant closed. Haha! We were well rewarded by the higher-ups, of course with food: the master of paradise.

Day 3 was the last day of the race and we got a little busier than usual. But otherwise, things stayed the same. It was really very fun working for F1, getting to know so many juniors of mine and other people I might not have the chance to know if not for this event.

Waseda-Shibuya High School Visit

2011-09-21T21:42:00.001+08:00

Updating about something that happened 3 days ago. I went to Waseda-Shibuya for their school festival and I was sleeping everywhere. On the bus. On the train. On the ticketing counter. On Fiona's shoulder. On the bench. Because I was so so tired. I swear 0630 is the time to kill me because I would be hanging on the bed - head on pillows and feet on ground, dead to the world.

But I woke up still, being the latest of the group that gathered at Clementi MRT (which is like 10+ stops away). My eyes were painful in the morning because I was wearing contacts. Why was I wearing them you ask? Because there's a need to put on sunglasses so that no one would recognize me sleeping with my mouth open! With a secret, comes a price or so they said. Kah! I can't remember the actual sentence.

Anyway, we reached the school in a very crowded bus with everyone present except Noob Wan Wen who hurt her leg and refused to come because she didn't want to limp thorough the whole trip. Had my actual breakfast at a Cosplay Cafe followed by a room called "Naoi Jones." Then we went to the Live House where a live band played songs I'd never heard before. I love the guitar =3= Repeat! Guitar. Not guitarist. Haha, I was staring at the strings the whole time songs are played. The bass and guitar are awesome-est!

Where we had gone later I couldn't remember but their Haunted house was bloody scary (I apologize for my lack of guts because I don't frequent them. In fact, Haunted houses are the only attractions that repel me the most) at the start. A person crept behind me and screamed and I shrieked, being the coward I was. But the first scare was probably the factor that numbed all other scares. I don't know if it was because I was too scared pissed by the first scare that I was in a shock or that I'd become braver...
The former is more likely huh.

We went to eat at the restaurant later on in the day because Nicholas/ Nickolas [(?) I read too much books that the names get confusing] was hungry. Then we started to queue for the game "Pirate Ship". I wonder what god managed to prolong my patience because we queued for an hour only to reach half of the queue. I gave up in the end. We decided to head home when we heard the live band playing. And so others decided to stay back and listen (me too) before everyone REALLY headed off to wherever they need to be.

Because i don't want to go home so early, Patricia and Fiona decided to accompany me to Vivo City for some mindless shopping. We then settled down at Subway and talked, something we haven't been doing much because we were too busy to meet up. We started up some "deep" conversations and decided to take them to the top of Vivo (the open area). And so we chatted, talking about "what if"s and discussing strategies for a possible sabotage. We confessed, we laughed and I poked fun at everything I could.

It had been a wondrous day, a day I thought it would disappoint.

On a side note, I'm sure most of my friends know by now but I'VE CUT MY HAIR BAEBEHH! Allow me to show you the differences.

This was the length of the back of my hair.

This, sadly was my fringe.

Now, you see my fringe and the ACTUAL length of my hair. No worries, there are no hidden long strands of hair that you have once know of ;)

S.V. sushi

2011-09-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was helluva tired. S.V. was tired and everyone except the host was late. So typical of us. Darling and I headed to Fairprice to shop for the ingredients for our sushi-making. Met the other 2 members along the way home.

We started our day with Mc-lunch bought by Louis. While eating, the S.V. atmosphere came up and everyone was shooting at me. Why was I such an easy target yesterday? All the things I said, all the actions I did... It got shot down one by one. I was rendered speechless and had to show a childish temperament to escape. Oh my, =\ Hahaha. Darlings did their work while Louis and i watched animes. I have successfully enticed him to start on a painful journey - to watch an uncompleted anime series! Hahaha! He can now feel my pain~

Our sushi was horribly terrible but our efforts were commendable for first-timers ;D We took 3 hours to for our sushi and ended up making a mess in the kitchen. Hehe. Afterwards was the usual lazing about on the sofa, well maybe it was just me.
And louis.

Darlings started their dance and I was just lying on the sofa with my tummy satiated from food, staring at the FOC entertainment. I would have doze off to sleep if not for darling's insistent request to dance together.

Ah, such a wonderful day out. The ultimatum of my happy day.

A restful day

2011-09-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

I woke up at 4pm, a very normal timing for me nowadays. Today is finally rest day for me. No heading out of the house for errands or work. Just sleeping and entertainment. This is the best.

I started on the anime Wei Qing introduced me on Wednesday and I was going ga-ga over it now. Pretty boys, hilarious dialogues, and great characters development. What's not to love? I just can't stop squealing every time Mokkun says something cute. Ah, I'm falling back in love with Animes.

So anyway, today was results day. I didn't remember until I checked my tweets. I'm satisfied with mine ;)

Oh I worked with Goodwood for their VIP event and check out these photos below. This wedding was much more grand than the rest I'd attended. Pretty ceiling lights, awesome spotlights for just the background and of course, a dance floor!

Tomorrow's Picnic day with S.V. Oh SV reunion is one thing I'm looking forward so much! There is TOO much bottled within me and these are matters that I only trust to SV. Can't wait! :D

Back from the dead.

2011-09-13T21:36:00.002+08:00

I am finally back.

After plenty of rest and rejuvenation activities, I finally recovered from the job at what-seemed-to-be-the-worst hotel ever. I had my first ever Banquet service a few days ago which was the ONLY source for my muscle aches and pain from my limbs. I've learnt portioning, which I still suck in and the use of service gear.

The hotel I worked in was surprisingly disappointing to the core. As such, I was extremely perplexed as to why it is graded the highest of the stars. It seems awfully pale in comparison to grand hotels like Hyatt or Mariott or Ritz Carlton. The back of house is simply jaw-dropping. Having females and males staff to share the same locker room?! Toilets that can be compared to those old coffee shops?
Simply, Wow.

My in-charge was the first block that resulted in this bad impression-chain reaction I had with this hotel. And when I thought I was going to leave this hotel with a lighter note after all my work days, no! The human resources department decided to get under my skin when I went to collect my pay. Just oh-so-wonderful. This hotel has left a deep deep impression on me. Next time when I get married, I'm going to look at a hotel's back of house and kitchen before my decision is made.

All infuriating and annoying matters aside, I managed to befriend many TP students - juniors and freshies from my course or my sister courses. That is probably, the only thing to rejoice about.

Life

2011-09-09T21:54:00.001+08:00

It's apparent that I don't have one.

Previously, my so-called life was "Waking up > School > Home > Study/ Projects > Sleep".
Now that holidays have started, my 'life' has also changed accordingly. Now, I have 2 'life's.

If I have work on that day, it would go
"Waking up > Work > Home > Check my accounts/ read a book > Sleep".
If I am free from work, it would go
"Waking up > Hunt for food > Computer games/ read a book > Nap > Dinner > Sleep."

Ah, such an interesting life I have. The only productive thing I've done over this holiday is to clean up my room, or specifically my desk. Because I woke up at 4pm, there wasn't much time before my dinner arrived. So now my desk is clean and rid of past semester notes. Ah I feel so proud of my achievement. Hahaha!

I'll head back to my books and enjoy a night of fun-filled squeals and laughter (Jen, you know me ;)) before I have to wake up at an ungodly hour of 6.30 A.M. for work.

Riddance!

Thorough update

2011-09-04T20:28:00.002+08:00

So, I am here. Finally updating my ignored blog.

I woke up 4 hours ago, feeling refreshed... and pained. It has definitely been a while for me to sleep till I wake up naturally. It is a luxury indeed! Ah, This IS what I call - a holiday, man. The feeling to do whatever you want, whenever you want and you have all the time in the world to procrastinate. This IS LIFE!

So anyway, Exams. It had been a rushing two weeks for me simply because my procrastinating nature got the better of me and for the entire study week, I was relaxing instead of well, studying. I had 3 papers. And I studied one at a time. Anyone who took the same 'schedule' as me should know the rush. Study Marketing 2 days before is hell. And studying Travel & tour Operations within 24 hours is the 18th level of hell. It was torture to force myself to stick with my notes when all I want was to stick with the computer.

The 3 papers were all right I guess. Accounting wasn't hard, neither was it easy. Marketing... It was open-book and we had the 'sacred-teachings' of Mr Gevin Png so I was saved. TTO was like what Ms Tan warned us - tough. But those who study would be able to pass with flying colours.

I wasn't that concerned with my grades anymore so I think I'm good ;)

Yesterday, Saturday. It was supposed to be my rejuvenation day but I had F1 training early early in the morning. And what could I say? Being SSM and BESE-trained changed us. We no longer need to take extra care of our hygiene and appearance because everything has become a habit. SSM and BESE drilled it into us, and had drilled it deep. So the F1 training was simply a reminder of what we had learned in Year 2.1.

I rushed home afterward to bathe to go for my part-time job. And guess where it was held? SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM! It's actually nothing unless you consider that it was where MMA was held ;)

My exclusive admission!

As usual, the guests were super funny and polite. AND THEY WERE ALL SO TALL! I was like the dwarf among the crowd of giants. My height was mostly at their shoulders. Sigh.
It has been a long long time since I resume this job and I didn't realize I miss their food SO MUCH! Hahaha. Xyrus, Yu Jun and I were like eyeing at the food all day long. And when the permission was granted, we ate like no tomorrow. It was a laughable sight ;)

Wan Wen, Xyrus and I chatted during free time and we gossiped like aunties. Hah! And the combination of Carmen, KE, Xyrus and I against Wan Wen was the ultimate team.

This is our uniform. Look! The bow tie! Wan wen mentioned that it reminded her of Mr Goh. Hahaha

Oh and each of us are supposed to have a name tag. And I got one that says "Liza". Hahaha! My face doesn't suit that name.

The ring. This is the first time I see a wrestling ring in real life, first-hand. Awesome much!

Look at the contrast

The event was fun. I had a great time disturbing Wan Wen. Horny noob drunkard Ronald was a sadist that made fun of me when I fell and the food was great.

The holiday has just started and I have a feeling it would be an awesome one.

Pre update

2011-09-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

I'm physically exhausted. It has been a non-stop marathon for me ever since exams started.

I swear I'll blog about all updates tomorrow. Pinky promises, fingers crossed and cross my heart.

So before that, see you!

Fantasy Dream

2011-08-14T21:14:00.007+08:00

My mind has been enjoying herself these few days, or rather this entire week.

Except for the subtle nagging for the completion of my BESE task 4, I was literally in relaxation mode. Look,

I read new Manga.
I watched new Anime and Drama.
I updated myself with the current Anime and Drama.
I slept till 3pm.
I slept at 3a.m.
I procrastinated all my work.
I forwent all tutorials.

No, scratch the last point since I always do that but look at the 4th point! LOOK! Ah, sleep is such a luxury indeed. Haha! No, really.

Exams aren't over (in fact they have YET to start!) but it felt like they have. I swear my will to procrastinate is growing stronger. Anyway, I went to pool with MTS just not long ago. It has been a long time since I pool and hang out with everyone of them.

I am wearing shorts for your information. My top is just an overlay because I was going for a meeting in the morning. Tank top + shorts aren't really appropriate.

The hardcore gamers at pool. And Clive still mentioned he wanted to do his work. Bwaha!

My only Closes in Poly.

So it had been a long long time since I saw them (partially because I always skipped meetings) and it had been a really great fun to hang out with them. Now if this clique could last like all my cliques is the question. Hah!

There was a small commotion in school with my recess clique who are unbelievably entertaining. I am so happy to know Zi Ding whose humor in words is unparalleled in my class. Seriously, she is so similar to Jennifer that I couldn't help laughing every time she criticizes something. There also seems to be misunderstandings brewing but I guess it's just me and my character. Sometimes my speech is just so brute and sharp even though all of it is nothing but the truth. And I can't put things in a softer way without any sarcasm in it. Seriously, I'm such a problem. Ahaha!

Oh yes, I mentioned I was reading lots of new Manga yeah? So my ability to daydream finally came back! I could stare into hours spinning fantasies that would never come true. Oh this is such an enjoyable hobby of mine because when I daydream, I find myself in a void world with only me and my thoughts. And when stories start spinning... the whole world seems so lovely <3 Hahahaha!

This coming week is the last week of the semester. The last burst for my 2.1 school life! And it's hectic like xxxx. I would be a daily patron at Sugar Loaf and my wallet will be full of holes. What's more I have no single idea how our restaurant is going to look like on Tuesday and what we are going to do. Then Wednesday will be a 4-course lunch with my clique and I have to starve before that day so that I can finish all the food. Hahaha! Thursday would be my Japanese speech presentation.. which I have not prepared till now. Then Saturday would be Natsu Matsuri which signifies the reunion of S.V.!!

Yeah, wish me luck~

How I view the world before, and after

2011-08-07T22:01:00.003+08:00

So everything has finally ended. All the bad and unnecessary. All the tears and the stress. What's left is my weakened will to believe in myself and the world. I am never going to get stronger am I?

I am at the jetty, on the land and above the sea.
But I'm being shaken, swallowed, manipulated.
My vision blurred as my heard twirled.

Even though everything was settled, my mind wasn't. And neither was my heart. I was restless, unsettled. Something kept building up and I had to scream. So I took a cycle at East Coast Park, wishing the wind could bring away my unease and bring my answers to me.

Waves were dark and menacing. The rise and the fall. The crests and the troughs. The sea breeze was cooling with a tinge of warmth.

I sat at the Jetty and pondered for a long long time. But all I've realized that this beautiful world holds no answers for me. Humans are bound to have Machiavellian tendencies in them. Society is bound to be scheming and harsh. People are bound to suffer. Such things have become a 'naturally'. That's the way the cycle goes. That's the way Life is played. Just like this, there will never ever be a 'Happily Ever After' in reality.

I wanted to cry but no tears came out. The waves swarmed beneath me. At then, I had a hallucination of them awaiting my death. Everything is already over but I feel so dead. Devoid of feelings and emotions. A sense of neutrality devoured my entire being. What happened to the revive of joy and happiness that was supposed to arrive?

Is this numbness supposedly natural? Or does it just shows that I'm dead inside?

And without a doubt, I knew I have lost again.

Reminisce

2011-07-31T18:08:00.002+08:00

I went back to my past 5 minutes ago and took a look on the many people who has once crossed my life.

And so it has already been 2 years and 7 months since the accident. I didn't realize I've been so occupied with my life that I didn't see everyone around me. My life is hectic. Projects are forthcoming. Homework is endless. Tests... let's just stop here. But to sum it up, I really got lost among the many matters happening in my life.

So today, I finally took a step back. And I found out that some are beaten down by Life. There was this realization that I am really a lucky person. Even though for the past few weeks I'd been balling my eyes out and getting panic attacks because of projects, because of school. Till now, I still don't understand how Life can be so harsh on one and so lenient on another. Why is that it keeps throwing heavy obstacles to one who barely stood up after being beaten down?

If there's god, I purely wish that she will survive this FINAL round. She, my lightly-acquainted benefactor. I had many things she doesn't. But I still want many things others have that I don't. Sometimes, I feel extremely disgusted by the disfigured girl in the mirror.

Save her. Save them all.

My life rules

2011-07-29T22:18:00.006+08:00

1. Anyone who calls me clever should shut up and die.

2. If you are nice to me even when I'm cranky, I'll say 'Sorry'. Mess with me, I'll say 'Fuck you'.

3. No one in this world is a saint, so if you are too good something's wrong with you.

4. Great sarcasm must be appreciated with matching humor.

5. Never be a leader because leader takes the most shit.

6. If you create rules and constraint my freedom, and I get pissed off - Your fault.

7. If you don't probe what's the problem, I'm never telling you.

8. You don't treat others how they treat you. You treat them better, bad or good.

9. Naivety will be the one digging graves for people in this world.

10. You don't know my life and I don't know yours. So don't judge me and I won't try to do the same.

Rivalry!

2011-07-27T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hey'all! It's been a long time. A long long time indeed. I didn't realize I have stopped my habit of daily blogging till recently.

I have lots of matters in my hand right now and I'm really really busy. So busy that I didn't have enough time to sleep but have sufficient time for videos. Amazing, right? I know.

I met up with S.V. last Sunday which was a great decision even though I didn't feel like going for the Japanese Sports Carnival. Had a great power boost from them because I was laughing all day long. No worries, just fun ;) Thank god for S.V. We had a fun time and I was glad everyone went home with a souvenir regardless big or small.

The days after that was like "deep in the canal". Shitty and stinky.

3 more weeks babe. 3 weeks more and return with your power boost!

Reasons for my crumble

2011-07-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow - SSM. I have to know my position's duties, pre and post services. And no doubt, I'll be dead tomorrow after the module.

Thursday - I have to come up with my Japanese draft script for teacher's inspection.

Friday - Marketing presentation. So this means I have to get everything done before Friday.

Saturday - TTO test. This also indicates that I have to balance my study for TTO among all these activities.

My lack of sleep has caused my productiveness to drop. Insufficient time makes things worse. To add on, my sky-high expectations from myself to get things done.. well.

So save me.

If

2011-07-15T21:47:00.001+08:00

If I can choose, I will wish not to be born in this current world. Where expectations and grades have the final say, where pieces of paper determine your success or failure.

Last Straw

2011-07-02T19:09:00.002+08:00

I will turn into a bitch soon enough if she keeps harassing me.

I am very stressed up with my projects, truthfully speaking. I am not at my top form and my brain simply refuses to cooperate with me. I can't concentrate with studies. I am always restless. My self-discipline has vanished, completely.

In short, I am currently a very irritated and annoyed woman.

So if she choose this time to add one more bloody trouble on to my heap of problems, I solemnly swear I am going to blow. She will never ever see the end of it. I will destroy every niceties that may happen. And just like my previous friendships, she and me will be over. Thoroughly over. I will throw my nasty personalities out and let her handle them.

So, really. Don't do it and if you really want to. Wait till project submission is over.

Me.

2011-06-30T22:18:00.002+08:00

For being someone who is me, I should know best.

They say I am who I thought I wasn't.

I thought I am what they say I wasn't.

In the end, I know not what I am, should be or must be.

Apparently the first party perspective isn't of much use.

Productive Wednesday!

2011-06-22T18:30:00.004+08:00

Everyone knows what I'm like when I feel drowsy and lazy and like, not do anything for the day. When I feel like taking things slow, there will be short blog posts (or none at all), lots of drama and anime, no homework, sleep away half of the day gone, stare into space and.. going to the refrigerator.

But!

When I am feeling good and productive, this is what happens.

This was the original state of my wardrobe. I know I lived up to the title my mum bestowed me- "The dirtiest girl on Earth". And I did it proud! Hah, anyway I was planning to reorganize it because after coming back from Australia, I had new wardrobe-members. Got to make space you see.

So I cleared everything out and dumped them everywhere in my room. I cleaned the insides and then proceeded to "sun" my lovelies as you can see below.

It was an extremely sunny afternoon so I made good use of the Sun even though the hot weather was beginning to get to my nerves.

1/4 of the work done!

3/4 done! And to be honest, I was giving up around this time. Flung myself on the bed and started using my phone.

Finally, the end! I'm very proud of my persistence! *nods head approvingly* Haha! And I did everything within 2 hours~ Afterward, I went on to clean my DSLR who had gone on a holiday with me to Australia.

Ah. Everything is almost back into place.

Dream fulfilled, mission accomplished

2011-06-18T15:21:00.003+08:00

I am back from my 6D Gold Coast Educational Trip. It was indescribable since this was the first time I've been to a western country. I love the weather, the scenery and everything about it!

Really. It was an extremely fun time for me. A pity I am not going to describe everything on my blog because it will take a long long time and because I am very lazy. Hahs, I can't wait to meet up with S.V. and give them their presents. Photos are on Facebook and so long!

P.S. I saw the night sky and moon, hear the waves and felt the sand. Dream fulfilled.

-------------

Kind of aware of that boundary line now. Thought I was close. But I was wrong.

Australia, and something else

2011-06-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow night, I'll be flying off to Australia - my first ever visited western country. Kind of excited but at the same time dreading it. There is the luggage packing process which I hate the most because it utilizes most of the brain-thinking part.

Then there are still projects I'm still fretting over with. And pre/post edu-trip assignments. Sigh.

Only a few more days to my achieved dream.

Please. Hold my tears till then. Rein in my emotions till then.

POWER IS ON!

2011-06-01T20:57:00.003+08:00

No, just joking.

But I have retrieved my ego and it has been a short few days of hiatus. HA.HA.HA.

First of all, I'd like to say "Great job P02 TopTable Team!" Everyone did awesome. No, we are not at those service professional level, but we had coped fairly well as compared to Day One operation.

Secondly, I went to Top Table to eat today. We, being the guests are more paranoid than the servers. Hahaha! We were constantly reminding them "crumb down!", "refill", "petit four and drinks!" etc. So at the end of the day, even though we were just eating there, I was very tired. Even before my lesson started. Lol.

Anyway, several days from now, I will be having lots of tests. And I have to prepare for my Australia trip. Things are still not going very well for me although they seemed to be improving. I wanted to break down today during my group meeting but something held me back. There was this alarm signal sounding in my head, telling me that if I cry, my world will fall and crumble and everything that has been done till now will be of waste.

I really wanted to.

though I knew I mustn't.

Hiatus

2011-05-26T22:40:00.005+08:00

My ego has been badly deflated. And there are many many embarrassing moments that i wished not to remember.

I want to fling myself into novels and dramas and not think of anything.

I want to bury myself and never reach reality.

I wish to

escape.

So I've decided to put my blog on hiatus for several weeks or even months because I am weak and I need to hide to lick my wounded pride. Furthermore, there are many projects that require my brain and concentration at this period. I feel myself releasing the reins of my discipline and it is hard to retrieve it back this time round. It is very very tough.

I don't know how am I going to cope with this current obstacle. It is something I have never experienced before. My mental strength's straining but my physical body still holds on. Strange. Because both usually die on me the same time.

I don't want to just get it done and over with this time round. I want to go all out and beat the shit out of everything.

See you soon, guys. I hope it will be very very soon, after I clear up the mess in my life and head.

SSM - Top Table pre-pre operation

2011-05-23T18:40:00.004+08:00

I may not have the strength to carry 10 heavy asses plates.

May not be able to do things excellently.

May not stay calm and NOT freak out.

I won't say I will try.

Neither would I say I promise to try.

Because I want to do well.

Whether the odds are against me, or whether I don't have the experience.

I know there's a high chance that I will screw up.

But screw that because I will screw it well.

Busy

2011-05-22T22:50:00.003+08:00

New findings: What happened to SPI bags for Primary School kids!

I have been maximizing my talent for prioritizing, which means nothing, these few days simply because there were too many activities and affairs that requires my attention. I am such a popular girl among assignments and work. Sigh. My life.

Friday was an extremely rush-through day for me. I had marketing lecture followed by a BESE shoot. Then a project consultation with the facilitator and a meeting for BESE. The worst thing of all was that Friday was CCN day. And while people were slamming their bodies with the crowd along the Business School concourse, I was stuck at lvl 5 with nothing but words to accompany my loneliness. Sigh. My life.

Then as every group member went off later in the afternoon, I stayed back to finish up my work. It was 4pm plus near 5pm when I was done. I had to hurry home after that because I was meeting my friends at 7pm. Turned out I was still late. Hah.

We went Timbre to eat and I felt myself settling down after rushing through things for the entire day. Oh, I brought my DSLR for the occasion but the battery died on me because I have forgotten to charge it. Hahaha! As a result, I got shot in the head many times.

My Snowball which tasted like Sprite

Then Saturday I went out with Darlings. Sorry for making you wait super long Jennifer! I am terribly sorry! D;

We had lunch at Thai Express before we went around shopping. It was a short outing because I still had work to do at home. But who knows? Just when I came home, my mum suggested to go Bugis shopping. You know how attractive it sounds. I can't just pass on a chance to shop can I? Especially when my mum will be paying... Hahaha! So I took a short nap as my mum prepared and we headed to Bugis in a jiffy.

I was shopping with minimal time taken and maximum buys. Heh. Got many great buys. Went home and started doing my work... Till now.

Life

2011-05-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

Someone,

Remind me that life is full of shit holes. You get smack in the face with crap if not careful.
Remind me one, she is no listener. Two, she serves her interest and forgets about the world. Three, I am a sodding dumb idiot to rely on her.
Remind me that Samsung is the most fucking horrible handphone producer on Earth.
Remind me to not get pissed off with everyone I see just because I'm in a sodding bad mood.
Remind me to get my medicine from SV.
Remind me to bloody shut up and scream inside
Remind me that I am and will always be standing alone on that plank with a needle-point support.

Plague it! And sod the hell off!

Lazing around

2011-05-17T20:39:00.003+08:00

I'd loosened my reins and allowed procrastination to seep in. I.e. I was lazing around this entire day.

Felt so wonderful lying on my bed and reading. Naturally, there was the annoying nagging tug in my mind that constantly reminded me of SSM and project. But my book won me over ;)

Now? I am freaking out because time that seemed to be abundant a few hours ago is running out.

And I don't feel like going through all subjects to know what I should be doing. I have my fill of guidelines and deadlines already.

I want to sit and read a book without feeling that some deadline will bite me in the arse.

Belinda who I met at the TOPSHOP event

I mosaic-ed my face because I looked too cui. But the main focus isn't my face but the super nice uniform for the TOPSHOP event

A coincidence that all 4 of us were wearing HTM shirt after SSM practice

I'll kill for a nap

2011-05-14T23:33:00.002+08:00

TOPMAN TOPSHOP!

It was fun working for the TOPMAN TOPSHOP event at Orchard today. Saw fashion bloggers who I don't recognized and Rozz from 987fm. As usual, I was being the food butler who eats a lot of food and everyone is calling me a pig!

Hello? I just have a high metabolism rate! D;

I am extremely, to the maximum deprived of sleep for nearly a week. Not more than 6 hours of sleep per day makes me very slaphappy. What's more I had JCG orientation camp yesterday and today. And now I have to rush my projects.

Time is a shortage. Sleep is a luxury.

The horrors of SSM 3 and aftermath

2011-05-11T21:48:00.002+08:00

At this moment, I believe life is fair.

Pardon me for not blogging about my SSM story yesterday for I'd collapsed and didn't regain my conscious till this morning. It is this tiring no doubt.

Yesterday we utilized the morning for discussion to clarify the different jobs in Sugar Loaf and Top Table. Apparently Mr Goh seemed to be in an incredibly good mood because he cracked many jokes that left us laughing like.. the lesson isn't SSM! Now this is shocking because SSM usually means fear and the "Oh shit! Die die die! Mr Goh is so going to kill me!" thinking when you did something wrong. Haha, all is nothing but the truth readers ;)

Our lunch was half an hour but no one complains because... well, we are already used to it. At 11.45am, everyone was back and assembled at Top Table. All the facilitators were not back yet, but everyone began to pick up those 1.5kg plates and practised carrying them. Too curious, too dumb or too much initiative? You tell me. Anyway, the facilitators soon came back and showed us the proper way to carry those plates-that-seem-to-weigh-a-ton. Most people struggled. Or at least I did. We complained/ made up excuses/ blamed our sweaty palms. Then Mr Goh shut all our mouths up by swinging his arms while carrying the plates with his wet hands.

I have to say, it was a very effective measure.

Not only our professional service instructors made us take a stroll with our plates, they graciously tempted us to put down our plates - which we didn't because when one person puts it down, the ENTIRE class has to start carry the plates for 5 minutes again. However that plate-carrying practice wasn't the best part for the day, it was the clearing of tables! We were taught and had to clear a table for 4 within two trips.

Four dinner plates, four side plates. Oh no no no, that's not just all. We still have cutlery on top of these plates. Plague it! Even my biggest comb doesn't weigh as much as a dessert knife. And so we began, the hellish torture to our left hand's pinkie and muscles. The practice itself was tough. Add in the stares and keen eyes of the service instructors and Voila! You have the ultimate terror. Hahahaha!

We managed to finish the exercise earlier than Mr Goh has expected so it meant we had more time to practise pouring wine. It was fun! Really! You have to control the flow of the wine, twist and lift the bottle without spilling a single drop. I practised many times or rather, Ms Mark made us practise many many thousand times. My right hand suffered the muscle strain from maneuvering the bottle too much. Look! I told you the life is fair. My right hand got to suffer as much as my left hand did! :D

Yeah, that sums up yesterday. Today, I actually wanted to head to school to complete my BSE project but I was too tired. My body protested and before I knew it, I was back in bed. Yeah. I woke up later in the morning to meet Ying for lunch. We then had our Marketing group meeting that wasn't very fulfilling because we didn't manage to complete our FILA chart.

My group then rushed for our accounting tutorial which was another big trouble for me. Because this wasn't that and you can do this for this but not that, I didn't know what was what anymore after the lesson. Uh oh.

Okay I am going to end this post now. Thank you Mr Goh and Ms Mark (especially) for the practice! And... I am serving in Top table when operation starts.

SHIT.

Bummer

2011-05-09T21:45:00.003+08:00

Bummer. My energy doesn't seem to be able to last for the entire day.

BSE was a whole 3 hours tutorial about personal hygiene and make up. Interesting, but would be better if they provide more door gifts, let's say brushes? Hah! Afterward was Entre' tutorial. I love my business idea but damn the rental cost that I have to consider. Plague it!

We had APEL after an hour break where we learned the entire life of Mrs Helwina and her exciting youth days. Oh, I had my lunch at 4pm. Being the busy me, I have neglected my stomach and it didn't even protest like it used to.

I went for SA interview which was a total screw up (I don't know why people love to say they screw up stuffs even when they don't but yeah... I screwed up FOR REAL. Another embarrassing history made in my life).

On the way home, I met Stephi whom I haven't been seeing often at TP. We managed to chat and exchange our 'life's happenings' on our way home. I was feeling pretty exhausted after the interview but talking to Stephi kept my tiredness away for sometime. Power of my secondary classmates ;)

Okay, I have to pack my bag for the tomorrow's SSM show. Adieu!

abrupt

2011-05-06T20:49:00.002+08:00

All hail Muttons who made me look like an insane person laughing and giggling while I was on my way back. Everyone was staring at me like I'm some weird lass. Hrmph.

Today was a long day like yesterday. 9.30am to 6pm. I have to say that accounting is interesting albeit confusing. And I prefer it over Marketing. Yes.

Tomorrow I have to attend JCG meeting so I have to retire early. Hah, I'm talking like a lady. Not that I am not one, but I speak more like a boor.

The truth has been revealed and now we know who our CP is - Claude. Loving this facilitator more and more, partially because of her name.

All right, my school officially starts on 9 May on my calendar. So I have to start marking deadlines and tests' dates now. Au revoir and merry meet again!

P.S. Jovy wavered my resolves. She dropped the Cert. Program and now I don't know what to do with mine. OH MI.

Pre-update

2011-05-05T20:36:00.005+08:00

Darling and I looked like we are part of the poster on the wall

Hiding behind a plant while I took my break

Power me who worked the day after SSM. I am chui.

So! These are the images in my phone which I have yet to update. Those in my camera are still being processed. I don't know what's wrong with my computer because my camera images aren't showing up on the screen. I guess you readers have to wait longer =\

Anyway school today is very long. 2 lectures and 2 tutorials. 9am to 5pm with only 1 hour of break. I am so exhausted (I know I know! A cliché sentence yet again!). I have been waking up early ever since SSM day and I really need a full sleep. But there are tutorials and lecture notes to be done and settled.

I just can't faint on the bed right now )= Oh my.

On a lighter note, I've decided to join SA because I haven't been doing much for JCG so... yeah. Hah. I shall end this post with a photo of Darling and I at Subway during our photoshoot break.

See you soon!

Blood Hell

2011-05-04T17:49:00.003+08:00

I do not bloody care who you are gossiping to about NSP, PAP or WP. As far as I know, my damn GPA and tutorials are far more important than your dumb "discussions" about ABC or EFG's comment on anything.

SO DO NOT OCCUPY THE DAMN GOD COMPUTER WHEN YOU ARE DOING NOTHING EXCEPT GOSSIPING(Or maybe in your own words, discussing? *sweet smiles*).

AND DON'T SODDING GIVE ME AN ATTITUDE!

My results worth fucking more than your saliva.

The horrors of SSM 2

2011-05-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

Episode 2.

Allow me to start this post with a BANG.

I failed my grooming.

Okay! Let's start the show. Today was a brain-cramming, mind-bursting day at TCA. Mr Goh and other facilitators were dishing information out like a machine gun and we were at the other end, catching those bullets. I am so glad that I ain't dead. The world is such a beautiful place yeah?

Anyway we had this very fun and thrilling yet mind-stressing activity/ practice in the morning which involves wine openers, blades, cork and blood... Okay maybe the last one was only me and Mandy. Haha. I cut my fingers unknowingly and I didn't even feel the pain. It was until there was this blot of red substance expanded till I realized it. I must be too absorbed in opening the wine bottle in the shortest timing I could. So there you have it! Two fingers bandaged now. One on each hand. Equality huh... Kah!

We had to have a quick lunch because there wasn't much time. We practised setting a table for 4 for 1 to 2 hours, taking orders from our dear group mates and setting the required table setting for their orders (which took forever). I swear I will poke anyone who belittles high-end dining servers now. Oh yeah I'm serious! Didn't know so much effort has been put just to set a table. Oh my!

It was tiring today. And there are still many information waiting for me to process them. It's more of the mental process that tired me out. Okay, I shall sleep in now.

Tomorrow, there will be a wake up call by my mum at an unearthly hour of 8am.

Settle down and cease everything

2011-05-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

Hi.

Stating the obvious, I know I am not blogging daily like I used to. And my blog is plain without pictures mainly because new images are either stuck in my phone or in my camera. And I am feeling really really lazy to extract them out.

Anyway, tomorrow is the second episode of SSM's nightmare and I've yet to heal from the muscle strains I've got last week. Wonderful right? Yes, I know. Such a brilliant way to start the week.

I have been.. procrastinating (yeah, no surprise there) and I ended up with more novels in my possession than time allows. This's a bad habit of mine. When time gets shorter, the number of novels on my shelf increases. And-da... I have not completed any tutorials or gone through any notes except for my Japanese CDS, which I did in advance because I know I won't have time for it in the near future.

This week is going to be a terrible week because the public-holiday-postponed-to-Monday has caused many problems for me. There are many make-up lessons for me and all involve waking up early in the morning. Plague it!

A short update

2011-04-29T16:07:00.003+08:00

Today's wind is strong as I walked back home. It felt good but it wasn't that déjà vu wind I am looking for. I really wish I can retrieve my memories from whatever memory bin I threw it into.

Anyway, today's school involved 2 lectures. And I'm sorry for stereotyping. I try really hard not to but I'm still human. Yes, this is no excuse but I swear I'm trying to change. Sorry dude!

Marketing and accounting are probably one of the most boring subjects ever. Together with BCS and RHT and POM and IHT and the rest of the theory subjects. I think I am in deep merde.

Okay. I guess I'll stop here and start clearing all my notes and tutorials and homework. I still have to head to school again for AGM. Boo.

Working out the muscles

2011-04-28T21:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday! I was so power that I agreed to work the day right after SSM. Yes. The day right after I had my grueling physical workout, I went to work - as a waitress. That's why I said Power.

As expected, I woke up with extreme muscle aches on my left arm and shoulder and a huge abrasion. And I think I pulled a muscle. What a beautiful morning it was. My left hand was limped as I journeyed to Expo. When work first started, I placed the tray instinctively on my left hand, walking around collecting plates and glasses.

Slap me. I know I am stupid. I felt the strain and pain at my left arm immediately but I had no opportunity to switch the tray on to my right hand. Yeah, so when I went to the back to pass the used china wares to the stewards, my left arm felt an instantly relief. But it had also refused to budge from the 'serving' position. My left arm kind of froze in midair awkwardly. There was a slight muscle cramp. And just in case you didn't know, cramp + ache = hell. It was physical torture.

Having learnt my lesson, I started serving with my right, which thought is my master hand, doesn't feel right. But I had no choice. Worked till the evening before I knocked off and went home to be dead to the world.

The horrors of SSM

2011-04-26T18:51:00.004+08:00

SSM. Service Skills Methodology. The nightmare of HTM diploma.

Episode 1.

Let's start off with how I had to take a taxi home to get my tie just because I forgot to bring it. Mr Goh stated "No tie? You cannot be here." Yeah... I came back 45 minutes later in full uniform and the facilitators were introduced. We had a briefing tour around the entire TCA which, I still haven't know my way about. We were then briefed about linens and glassware and china wares and coffee pots etc. The morning was all about taking down notes.

Then we had our lunch break that lasted about an hour minus minus. It was quite gracious of Mr Goh actually to give us such a long break. We had a hearty lunch as the facilitators advised, before we assembled to face our nightmare. The two practices in the afternoon were the one that killed us all. Most of us all. It was a strenuous exercise. We were turned into 'construction workers' and 'experts on water bottles labels'. Indeed. It was a physical workout that I thought I could have died. Those waitress jobs I did as a part timer? They seemed incredibly insignificant as compared to SSM because in SSM, either you die, or you die. There's no way out. Uh huh.

It was very exhausting and at the end of the day, you just want to flop down on the bed and crash to la la land.

But overall, it was... okay.

Maybe this is Week 1 so the facilitators and Mr Goh are being more lenient. SSM lesson was quite enjoyable because there were jokes made by facilitators and students here and there. And Mr Goh isn't really scary. No, scratch that. He is scary. But just don't cross the line and he will be a very good facilitator in one's POV.

SSM is extremely arduous no doubt and the practices are there to kill students off. But I can see how students that finished SSM module, can/ have become excellent servers. SSM is tough shit, yeah. But it pushes and stretches your ability until you are some kind of ultra elastic rubber band.

Oh by the way, SSM also teaches you that one, 'Shit' is in the toilet and two, 'God' isn't yours and he isn't here.

(;

Not the light, but the shadow

2011-04-24T20:08:00.002+08:00

Like me, she's not okay.

We have our own problems to deal with. She may be crying as I look down from the top of the building. I might be sobbing when she saw a life vanished in front of her eyes.

We are now two countries apart.

We are two different persons with two different strengths.

And I truly wish both of us have the strength to get through this.

Paradise gates are closing on me

2011-04-22T19:58:00.004+08:00

Got stuck in bed most of the day for my body rioted against me. Feverish. Runny nose and sick in the throat. Boo yeah! My late nights, early mornings and improper diet habits have finally pushed my body to protest against my actions. Can't say I'm particularly please with the fact that school is start in two days' time.

I have to miss my Primary School outing with buddies from Hell and damn, I missed Paintball too! What the merde. I was quite looking forward to today until disaster struck. My health simply loves to play the timing game with me huh.

Year 2.1 is the reunite semester. Secondary school friends get to be together in the same class. Again. Jane and Cheryl. Yi Ting and Jerene. Ying and I. Ying totally loves me and we are fated to be together. HAHAHAHA.

Haven't been up for anything except to prepare for school. My plans for my last two days in paradise mostly involved books and rotting in bed. I see if i can push my body to go out tomorrow. Or not...

Damn me if Week 1 has SSM tutorial.

Keep the cuss

2011-04-21T15:20:00.003+08:00

I am stoning. My mind isn't working at it's usual level now and my each word typed in here has taken up 5 seconds of my life.

So. Yesterday.

I went to Jennifer's house for post-house warming and S.V. watched Gulliver's Travels there. A very entertaining comedy. I quite liked it. After that, we roamed about the house looking for things to do. Draw. Read. Watch shows. Look at photos. We left at 4 because I had to go to my class Chalet.

Turned out that everyone wasn't there yet when I reached. We started the fire pretty late and the whole BBQ ended around 11 plus. In the meanwhile, we were eating and chatting and finding who is in what class and what kind of environment we will find ourselves in. When the food got too much and our stomach too small, we played the food game which I totally gave up halfway. Anymore and I swear my stomach would burst. I was bloated to the maximum. And Felicia was so darn good in the game and I was at the losing end. Yeah. It was lucky I made my quick escape. Hahaha. It was quite fun and almost everyone got together and talked.

Yi Ting and Si Tian slept while Si En and I went to the guy's room to play cards. We were both laughing like mad because - Si En's words - Gary's hair looked like a freaking bird when he came out of the bath. HAHAHAHA. Si En the Mad also screamed while we played 'Stress'. She screamed! Shrilled! Whatever... but it was freaking 3 in the morning! Holy Moly. It was a wonder the two girls the other side didn't start yelling.

Anyway the both of us were feeling kind of sleepy around 5 plus and the guys came back from their soccer matches. We chatted until 6.30am before everyone got up and washed up. Headed over to Mac for breakfast then everyone went to where they needed to go.

It was tiring. I didn't sleep for the Chalet (as usual). But it was fun.

School's starting. Lovely.

Shoot

2011-04-19T22:30:00.003+08:00

I was bloody tired this morning. And I still am.

I had to wake up at 6 in the morning to prepare for the shoot today. Damn. I felt as if someone sprinkled salt in my eyes and it was stinging like a bloody bee. I took short naps when I got the chance to, bathed, wore my bloody contacts, slapped on some BB cream and concealer before heading off to Orchard MRT station feeling like overworked and sleep-deprived doll. I had to wear sunglasses because my eye bags were seriously... serious; was carrying an incredibly bag because it contained all sorts of shit for the shoot; and was yawning every 5 minutes.

Met up with S.V. and we took a bus to Singapore Botanic Garden. The Sun was starting up a fire but we managed to find a shaded place where we did our make up. Many people walked past and most had a puzzled look when they turned to us. Haha, S.V. is probably the only clique that does things brazenly without a darn because everyone of us aren't afraid of attention ;)

The Paparazzi trio returned when Triplets whipped out our cameras and started shooting. It was so hot that it was like blood hot. I was melting and had to constantly tap my face with tissues so that my make up wasn't ruined. S.V., being S.V. chose places that has ++ shades and --Sun. Hahaha. It was fun except for the darn weather.

We decided to call it a day around 12.30pm and rushed to Subway for our FIRST MEAL of the Day. Yeah, everyone missed their breakfast. We occupied Subway's seats for nearly 3 hours. 2 hours for eating and 1 to sleep/ slack/ rest. Headed off to Clarke Quay and shot randomly. The Sun was still going strong at 5 in the evening. Oh my. Luckily I had my shades and darlings bought theirs. Poor Louis was squinting his eyes when we walked under Sun. Hahaha. The radiance of the holy Sun was too bright for us night creatures to bear~

Many Caucasians/ foreigners turned to look at us because we seemed to be the only group shooting with our cameras. Ah ha ha. Ended the day with a BK dinner and everyone trudged back home. Oh it was so tiring today.

I promise photos next time, when I feel like posting them. I have so many things to do but there are so many events lined up for me. I can't even find the time to sleep like a pig like I used to! I still have to rush to three places tomorrow.

Bloody hell.

Potato feast!

2011-04-18T21:51:00.004+08:00

I went back to Damai today. At an unearthly hour of 9.30am. Holy.

I went back to help the Gu Zheng members with their SYF make up. Triplets and some other Dance juniors of mine were in charge of the 'eyeshadow' business. Yeah, the business started out pretty badly with no one coming to us for the first 10 minutes. Then all of a sudden, a burst of customers came. Hahaha. I applied eyeshadow on people for nearly 2 hours and my hand got so used to the stroke that I could depend on my left hand to do the job.

Afterward, Triplet had their lunch at Damai (which was the main goal of the day). The food is CHEEAP! And I had my potato feast from stall 2 ;) DLZ would know what I'm talking. We later headed to Bugis and while I went to retrieve my uniform, my two darlings went shopping at SASA. Met up with them again and we started our search for our clothes for the shoot tomorrow.

Took the whole day but we sumed up the day pretty well. Everyone was hot and tired from the heat at Bugis street. Time to sleep early and wake up super early tomorrow!

Okay

2011-04-17T20:36:00.004+08:00

For when you say you see me,

You don't know me.

Jennifer came to my house today to redo our entire Manga. She said she would be here at 11am and I didn't bother to put an alarm because nothing's better than to wake up naturally. So what if she sees my bedhead hairstyle or my not-so-glamorous sleeping posture? She's one of the Triplets! The closest bitches I ever had ;) But I foresaw that she would be late too. It's just the connection we had. Hehe. Anyway, she reached my house at 12.30 or so and we redid our our manga story.

I had to trace characters and do our names. Oh, it was hard work. But it was fun because we were doing our favorite pastime - ogling. HAHAHA! She's going to whack me for this. She did our characters' sketches while I thought of how our story is going to flow. It was HARD WORK.

Salutation to all mangaka out there! You have my utmost respect.

Jen and I did our work till 6.50pm when we felt really tired and decided to take a break. Chatted up a bit before she went back home.

;D I really love my friends a lot because they always act as shields against what bother me. I don't get depressed and upset when they are around. They are probably the best deal I'd bargained with Life.

MEday

2011-04-16T23:07:00.002+08:00

I tried and I cried.

Darling I need you here to make things right.

Today is a ME-day. I do everything I want anytime I want and first high up on my list was sleep. So I did, till 3pm in the afternoon. I felt so much refreshed after that. All hail the sleep god!!

I did my usual website routine and updated my music before heading off to Central to stock up my snack cupboard. Oh food again :D Had my dinner later and was off to ransack my closet. I hung every going-out clothes and packed every not-worn-frequently ones into another closet. Arranged my clothes according to colors too :D

Jen is coming to my house tomorrow to resume our awesome "work". Hehe, I'm so excited!

Have to sleep early today because I'll be busy tomorrow! Signing off!

Enervated

2011-04-15T22:29:00.006+08:00

Hello. It has been quite some time since I did a real update about my life, not that I have any. These few days, or weeks to be exact, I have been going out. Everyday. Except for three consecutive days whereby I holed up at home and rot, I have been out of the house to work or to hang out with my friends.

I probably didn't/ forgot to mention that I went out with MTS to pool a dozen days back, i think. Ah, pool. I miss it so much. I was really glad that my skills didn't take the break to go on holiday to Australia. Haha, we went to have awesome ice later on, which was like a gift from heaven, because the Sun was terribly hot and scorching.

I have also worked at 竹（たけ）, a Japanese restaurant at a hotel at Clarke Quay. Yeah. It was quite a refreshing experience and the plates are like heavy! I had sore muscles for two days straight after that. But it's okay! Because now, I'm utterly proud to show off the teeny weeny dent on my left bicep. HAHAHA! Hey, at least it was better than the time where I had nothing but fats all right.

These two ladies worked with me and I met many HTM seniors there who generously provided us with SSM horror stories. Uh huh. The job was fun yet tiring. But it was worth it because I get to taste food!! Oh I'm such a glutton.

I know I look lousy. It was after work when I took this. Love their uniform!

This whole poly holiday consists mostly of outings with MTS and I was suffering from severe post-SV syndromes. Yes, it is no lie. Because what can I say? I need my fix and no one fixes me up as crazy as SV does. Heh, so I have decided to meet up with SV yesterday then have my sleepover at Darling's house, after Louis cleared up his rendezvous affairs at Hainan Island ;) But Wan Wen called me up for a job and "I couldn't turn her down" is just a nice way to put things. "I am money-minded" is a more accurate sentence.

So I passed the SV session and told Darling I'd be there for the sleepover. I went to Keppel Bay to work with Wan Wen and behold our masterpieces!

Wan Wen, Angie, Angie's friend and I polished/ cleaned all the glasses there. There are actually more outside the photo but I just couldn't capture all into my horrible phone camera. It was cool, actually. Like you know how Japanese dramas' bartenders cleaned their glasses? We did the exact same thing... with more talking and laughing :D

Later on when the event begun, Lambert and I were told to standby but we ended up chatting up for nearly an hour.. or more? Eventually, we went out with trays in hand to offer food to everyone and yeah, I met many foreigners. There were three Caucasians who are super tall, like 2m I guess? And I had to tip my head back to talk to them. And they had to look down to talk to me...

Aww shucks. I feel short );

Anyway, both Lambert and I were extremely desperate to clear the desserts on our trays but no one wanted them! Every time we passed by each other, we would stare and comment on the other party's number of cups of dessert and give that helpless unwanted look. HAHAHA.

I rushed straight to Darling's house after work but it was nearly 12 midnight when I reached. As usual, chaos erupted when Triplets united. I was struggling for breath because I was laughing too hard. Teared too. Then we started talking and updating each other about our lives. Ah, very enjoyable. It was 3 in the morning when we finally went to sleep because one, I had work this afternoon and two, Brenda was tired. Jen and I snuggled at the sofa. Remember, 3am in the morning.

At 7am of the same morning, I woke up. My sight was blinded by the sunlight streaming through the window. Bright bright sunlight. I grabbed a pillow to act as as a shield for my eyes and went back to sleep. The next time I woke up was 7 plus near 8am. I didn't sleep much huh. Darling's parents and Aria (spelling?)'s shuffling woke me up. And I couldn't go back to sleep. So I closed my eyes and just lay there. It is a well-known fact that sleeping on the couch doesn't provide the most comfortable position. I tried opening my eyes to stone but argh! The building opposite was practically shining because of the sunlight. And it hurt to open my eyes. I also felt the strain and tiredness. Yeah.

Finally, Jen and I decided to wake up "officially" at 9am. Went to wash up and give our morning call to the owner of the house. When the necessaries were done, we sat around and discussed about our upcoming events. Triplets had lunch together before I went off to work, today.

Work today was at Expo for some buffet thing. It was okay, the usual clearing and stuffs.

We look like security officers! Haha, pardon my face. It was the end of work and I looked terrible.

Brushing up before we started our work.

So I guess that's all. I have to sleep now before I faint in my loo while I brush my teeth. See ya!

Original work

2011-04-13T23:36:00.003+08:00

如果说着说着赫然哭了

谁会知道我这是怎么了

随着时间流逝我发现了

你在世上是独一无二

回溯起当年的回忆

揩拭相片上的灰尘

在吉他上弹奏你自创的旋律

唱着你编送我的决别曲

*望着你的时候泪会流着

靠近你的当时脸颊烫热

是否已发现我心得痛割

离别的那一刻我的舍不得

早已显露在表情的苦涩

我们的巧遇是懊恼的因素

我们俩不该相遇不该认识

因为相爱是个错我只好放手一博

离开你身旁一个人独自享受寂寞

一天又一天的哭泣

却不晓得爱的定义

放弃的是对你的思念

得来的却是心得缺陷

So! Yes, I am blogging once again at unearthly hours. The above song? Poem? Whatever you might call it, is written by yours truly ;) Hahaha! I know, laugh at the childish and cliché sentences for all you want. I kind of found it in my old note books while I was flipping through my shelves. That was written when I was in Secondary school and was going through an extremely tough phase, if I remember it correctly. Didn't know I was so "poetic" in the past. Heh! I don't really write or draw much lately because not only I am an outright lazy bum, I also don't have the inspiration and strong emotions to do so.

You see, when the above "work" was done, I had also completed one full page of story on a foolscap paper which is now listed as 'Missing'. A matter affected me so much that I was crying really badly and was feeling incredibly depressed so I started pouring jumbled up words into sentences. Oh yes, my previous blog which I had 'graduated from' was in fact, at least fifty times more emotional than this one. Uh huh.

Okay, enough said. I went shopping with MTS' girl gang at Bugis and I've bought only three things. Not what I have expected. But ah, might as well spent the money next time with my darlings. I would like to say that I was annoyed but it's just me, my mood swings and I. Probably staying down for a few days will be a good idea.

932

2011-04-13T00:20:00.002+08:00

I get it now. What he said about feeling bad when you take their money. I want to stop my reliance. Want to start my independence. But I'm afraid when school starts. Will I be able to cope? I don't want to feel what I felt in semester 1.1 again. The pressure. The breaking point. The stress and the tears.

It was all too much. Feeling burnt out is the last thing I need in my life. Anytime I may get depressed. Anytime the overcast clouds would loom over me. Anytime, I may fall deeper than the previous times.

I am afraid.

My incapability has rendered me useless. Again.

Random

2011-04-09T19:48:00.002+08:00

Got back-slammed into reality
Had all sorts of thoughts
Aware how joy is always short-lived
Realized victors took joy in little jokes when the world is crumbling
Wondered if I'd feel numb after receiving pain
Knew I am very busy yet refused to get my ass up to work

Need my happy times.

Need my joy.

Need reality before I get lost in fantasy.

House of sleepyheads

2011-04-08T21:46:00.002+08:00

I live in a 4 room flat. Just a while back, my brother was sleeping in the living room; my dad in the master bedroom, my grandma in my brother's room. And I was dozing off in mine. The time was before 10pm.

What a miracle.

Not counting my grandma in, both my brother and I are night creatures. My dad has an erratic sleeping cycle due to his job. So today must be quite a day for us to all sleep early.

Yesterday, I had a food butler job which was the main source of muscle aches I'm feeling right now in my arms. I have two useless arms who can't really exert strength. I can't wash my hair. I can't carry my blanket. And the most important thing of all, I can't scoop my darn ice cream out of a tube! In other words, no ice cream for me.

Today's moon is a greenish crescent. Now I've seen an orange, yellow, white and green ones. Lovely!

unknown

2011-04-06T23:04:00.002+08:00

Ugh. Why did I suggest this outing to be today?

I must be courting death.

I am tired. So exhausted.

I need rest. Like really sleep. Not half-assed ones that are irritated by sunshine.

My body is weary.

Something is very wrong with me.

Oh shit.

Da name's... RANGO

2011-04-04T20:46:00.003+08:00

I think I am going to be sick. Like Koi was the last straw and my body is going to crumble into heaps and soon, I will be vomiting my food reserves out. I will be feverish and achy and I will be sneezing all kinds of fluids out of my nose. Ew, talking about details.

Today I've tried my best but I have failed the test. My ~~laziness~~ determination to sleep was too strong and I couldn't defend its attack. So I went back to sleep. The next time I woke up was because Lance called and I swear he heard the drowsiness in my voice. I was so bend on losing myself to la la land again until I saw the almighty clock. It was enough to shock me awake. 10.45am. 15 minutes before the meeting starts.

Oh merde. I had to rush. I did! But it was too late. It was all too late...

Haha, what a melodrama. Anyway, the meeting was over before I was even there. Yeah, such failure can only be done by the ultimate failure master, which is me! ;) Clique then headed over to TM for a bite (actually, it's because I was hungry). We were planning to watch 'Suckerpunch' because I am a sucker for sci-fi and fantasy movies but Clive has watched it. So yeah... D:

My next choices are 'The Eagle', a medieval period movie which involves war and fights and 'World Invasion: Battle Los Angeles', title which blatantly indicates the genre of the movie. I am a weird weird lass.

We ended up watching 'Rango' which was funny and entertaining but not a must-watch movie. I can totally see Johnny Depp's gestures and expression behind that lizard. Hahaha! Later on, everyone went up to T1's roof and slacked with our Koi in hand. We chatted and laughed as the wind blew, shifted our butts when the Sun shone on us. It was enjoyable. Patricia, Wan Wen and Fiona were poking fun at my 'Rowdy Night' message which was an intended joke. Then the boys joined them. See how horrid my friends are? Seriously, I don't know why everyone says that I am always the villain in the group. I am such an innocent child. Really!

Now all of my friends will be giving me the slant-eyes 'uh-huh-you-sure-about-the-innocent-part?' stare when they read this. Haha!

So after drinking my cup of Koi which I didn't even finish, I was feeling queasy. I felt like my stomach was going through some renovation that involved the division of my stomach into the Junk section and the Normal section. I highly believe the Junk section covers majority of the space and I always know I'm right.

Ugh.

Time to work out tomorrow. It's badminton time with S.V. The bottom-line is to stay healthy, lass.

MOE excel fest

2011-04-02T21:26:00.004+08:00

I've said that they said "It pays to wake up early." I didn't get paid.

Again.

Yeah, Patricia called and told me that Scientech dude asked us to head over to SCC to work. I had to rush since I woke up at 11 and it takes an hour from my house to reach SCC. Apparently I broke my record because I reached there at 11.45am. Freshen up + bathe + journey only took me 45 minutes. I nearly died on the way there. No wait, I died. I thought I was going to crumble to the floor when I 'touch down' at Suntec City MRT. Hahaha, I am awesome ;)

Patricia was late so I headed over to report for work first. I was supposed to give out booklets first but then the in charge called Patricia and me over to do ushering, which was extremely fun. I met many adorable babies and funny parents (not mentioning foreigners). It is so heartwarming to see parents playing with their kids. It reminds me of my childhood and my parents and my brother. Hahahaha. Ah, those were the days. My brother and I are all grown up now and my parents have grown old. But I'm still glad that my parents are still here to support both my brother and I when we need them ;) Love them!

I was feeling so cold at level 3 till the extent that I was shivering. Also, I have realized the darn importance of water. Who said water was low MU! I was so darn willing to pay 100 bucks to have a bottle of water with me at that time. I was dehydrated and thirsty. And when I finally got one volunteer to bring me a bottle of water, it disappeared after I placed it at some corner.

It seemed as if a storm had came to my world at that time. The sky became overcast and I was on my knees with my hands raised towards the sky. "WWHHYYY~!!!" I yelled. And the thunder sounded.

Nah, I was just being dramatic. But no, seriously. Everyone was making fun of my paper which said "Gallery West -->". Hahaha, a volunteer even asked to take a photo of me and that paper. Hahahaha! It was weird, but fun.

Oh I saw Ms Poh! The teacher-in-charge for my Secondary School Higher Mother Tongue. It was super weird to see her there. Haha. Like hello? You see your ex-teacher working with you. The feeling is simply strange.

I must be stronger. I have to.

Dive in

2011-04-01T22:46:00.004+08:00

I haven't been out much these few days because I wasn't feeling well till I was back. Presently, I have been repeating the same routine previously - drowning myself in Faerie, Witchcraft and all sorts of fantasy stuffs. Oh, I am pushing myself to finish all half-done anime too. They say perseverance is the key ;)

I have been wanting to post about me returning to Damai to ~~eat~~ help my juniors with make up for SYF but I haven't got the chance. I was... occupied. Yeah. The truth (No seriously, I was just lazing my butt around, refusing to be motivated to post pictures).

Who were the seniors who came back.

This guy,

these girls,

the left girl and right guy (OMG, a pun! Hahaha, that was unintentional)

And Yue Han, our foremost senior whom managed to escape from the clutches of my camera.

My SYF participants juniors. I know I know! I have no idea why my photo's foreground is 0 too. It was a bad shot ):

It was clearly a fun day because S.V. haven't reunited for 68716765 days. It has been too long. Too long.

Scots Gaelic

2011-03-31T19:07:00.002+08:00

Togaidh sinn ar fonn an ard,

Togaidh sinn ar fonn an ard

'S ged 'tha mi fada bhuat

Cha dhealaich sinn a'chaoidh

Ah, I am falling in love with another language again.

The girl who knows no better

2011-03-30T22:46:00.001+08:00

Taken by the wind. My troubles. My worries.

Nothing more than a ride towards nature did the trick.

I am freed.

And I'm back.

Dream interpretation

2011-03-27T14:58:00.005+08:00

Dream:

I was killing snails with a stake, trying to break their shells. And then there was this boy/ guy (I can't remember) in a room with me. I knew he was a snail (that transformed into a human?). He made a lunge at me and I fought back. Poisonous steam appeared out of nowhere and I ran, locking the door behind me when I was out of the room. I felt fear and adrenaline was rushing. I was angry too. I wanted him to die. I wished he would die. I had been trying many ways to kill him.
He twisted the door knob and I froze, thinking that he's going to come out of the room. But the lock stayed in place.

Locking him up. Stabbing a guy. Killing snails. Trying ways to kill him.

Locks

Locks may be associated with bad behavior of some kind and your attempts to lock it out. Locks may also show that you are trying to get away from some problem or bad feeling. A locked door may suggest that you are attempting to lock out some feelings. A locked door that you are trying to escape may suggest you are trying to get away from some problem. you have to confront your own fears and solve all conflicts which eat you up inside.

To keep something locked in a dream may also represent your inability to express yourself, to communicate with the others and let them know how you really feel about one situation or another.

Snails

To see a snail in your dream, suggests that you are being overly sensitive. You are feeling inhibited, but desire to be more outgoing and energetic. Alternatively, a snail suggests that you are making steady progress toward a goal. You need to go at your own pace.

Snails crawling in your dream, signifies that unhealthful conditions surround you.

Killing
To dream that you kill someone, indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to.

Knife
It is also representative of masculinity and its associations with violence and aggression. You may be harbouring a deep-seated destructive wish and have repressed your feelings of anger.
Is it you who carries the knife or are you threatened by someone else? Identify with the possessor of the knife and discover if you are repressing angry feelings. The knife is also reminiscent of the ‘sword of truth’ that cuts through falsity.

A stabbing is sometimes a symbol of deep anger or aggression. Identify that person or cause of the anger or aggression. The stranger may be some part of yourself, you are stabbing yourself for some reason.and ignorance, or the will to cut away false desires.

Letter 12

2011-03-26T21:36:00.006+08:00

Day 12 - To my family

You tell me your meaning of childish and I'll define my 'stubborn' to you

Dearest Mum,
1. You said I'm childish to throw a temper.
Have you ever wonder that I'm not throwing one but trying to stop myself from lashing out on you?
2. You said you can yell at me in the streets without feeling embarrassed because you are an old woman and I will only be the one embarrassed.
It seems to me that you still think that I am still the young stupid me. I apologize but I have stopped feeling embarrassed about trivial things like this for a long time. You may not know but books have transformed my life, my way of thinking. Mitch Albom once mentioned this in one of his books, "A child embarrassed by his mother is just a child who hasn't lived long enough." I may not have lived as long as you, mum. But I know I'm no longer that child in that sentence.

3. You said if I wasn't the one who took the remote then tell Dad and brother.
Yeah, I told them umpteen times. But did they believe me? No, they didn't.
4. You corrected yourself and said if I wasn't the culprit, then keep to myself.
I don't get it till now. Why must I mute myself to avoid conflict over something I've never ever done. Sorry woman, I won't brand myself for anyone. I mean it. Do you even realize that you will be branding me as a thief even though I'm innocent?
5. You said people have been giving in to to me and that I should give in too instead of throwing a temper in the morning.
Yeah, sorry about the temper. But I haven't really been outright selfish too. That night, I was too uncomfortable to sleep because the fan was irritating my nose but I didn't insist on switching it to level one because I know dad, you and that piece of shit will feel warm. Hell, I didn't have a good night sleep for 3 consecutive nights. And I have been trying to keep the mood light and getting everyone to laugh because of everyone was fucking annoyed by family politics? Haven't I been giving in? I am not trying to claim credit. I'm just trying to show that you haven't been noticing that I'd been giving in.

6. You said I will die in society when I put my step in it, given my attitude.
Really? You seriously thinking like that? It seems like you need to throw away your impression of your daughter and get a new one.

Dearest Dad,
1. You yelled at me when I slammed the remotes on the table, said that I shouldn't throw my temper using other people's things.
I haven't been throwing a temper. I was making a statement - I. Put. These. Damn. Things. Here. So. Don't. Accuse. Me. Of. Hiding. Them.

2. You asked me what I was trying to impress on you guys when I walked out of Uncle Joe's house and into the alley without hopping onto the car.
So you wanted me to impress you with something? Haha. Nope, I didn't even have the slightest idea to impress you or anyone. I know when to bend my head and shut up. But at that time, I am hell not bending for something I didn't do wrong in the first place.

Dearest piece of shit,
1. I really love to call you that at that time but I'm calling you brother now out of respect, though I don't really have much for you at this time. You told me two can play the 'childish' game.
Errr... Seems like you are childish. I'm stubborn and can be childish if I want to. Since you started being stupid and thought you have both brawns and brains, I decided to be play along and be childish as well. And look~ Who won in the end? ;)

I demand an apology,

Your youngest family member.

Penang Trip

2011-03-26T19:47:00.003+08:00

Finally I managed to get my fingers to type out my trip.

Day 0, night.

I took a bus to Penang. The five stars bus service was all right except that the darn bus driver carried the luggages into the bus with a cigarette in his hand which caused the whole bus to stink shit! Most of my friends know that I will never smoke because I'll go into a coughing seizure when I'm near a lighted cigarette. Aye, I was practically coughing myself to death. It was horrible. I felt as if someone shoved something into my throat and out. And in again. Yeah... That horrible.

The night scenery on the way was beautiful. Though there weren't much stars, the moon was bright almost round. And it was yellow.

Day 1.

Uncle Leong fetched us from the bus terminal to my grandma's house when we arrived at Penang around 7 near in the morning. My parents and my brother went downstairs for breakfast while I tried to catch a wink because I couldn't sleep throughout the entire bus ride. In the end? I still couldn't sleep. Hahaha. Uncle Joe dropped by and what could I say? He's eccentric. But since I have a strange sense of humor myself too, he'd got me laughing!

The rest of the day was shopping then back home.

Day 2.

I went to see my grandpa and my youngest uncle, whom I've never met, and pray. Till now, I can only remember two memories of my grandpa. One of which is one of the dearest memories in my life. The other is during his funeral. Funny how I didn't cry when I knew I loved my granddad. I must be one weird kid since young huh.

My dad told me that my youngest uncle was the only musically-inclined person in the household and he played many instruments. Many thoughts surfaced inside my head and I realized another horrifying fact about myself. I was wrong.

I went shopping later and got many grabs :D .Came back to my grandma's house to know that there's a shitload of politics in my dad's family. Like my mum's. Whatever! I hate politics and swear never try to be involved in them. Shopping made me happy so I didn't really care what my dad's decision was. Yeah, that was storm number 1. My mum being the oh-so-irritating started nagging and my dad was obviously annoyed. So I started throwing in random comments. Hey! No skeptical looks okay. It works all the time!

During the night, there was a fuse in my grandma's house and the entire house was out of electricity. And I experienced my first blackout.

Me. A Singaporean girl.

Sad to spoil the fun but I didn't freak out as many of you would wish. Haha, I have Kampong blood running in my veins, remember? My grandma whipped out a candle and lighted it.

There was this soft miserable glow in the living room. And I stared at it for quite some time. Reason why?

The left light is from a torchlight, the right from a candle.

The above picture shows both urban and traditional. Go figure out the rest yourself.

Uncle Leong came by around 9pm to fix it. But I didn't know. I slept through all ruckus created. What can I say? I was tired!

Day 3.

Uncle Joe brought us to his new house which was... well, pleasant. Hah, but the deco and stuff aren't my type. If the house's mine, I would have convert one room into a dance studio ;)

We went to visit my dad's ex-colleague. Or is it Uncle Joe's ex-colleague? Ahh, I can't remember. His house is a WOW. It is filled with relics due to his religious wife. I took a peeked into a room and I saw this.

Bloody hell! I bet it is at least 50-inch! I stood inside the room gawking like who knows what. That is the bloody biggest TV I've ever seen in someone's house!

We went shopping and I BOUGHT MY BABIES! Oh my lovelycutecuddly babies~! I love them so much! Heh. I value them more than my life. In fact, I believe I look like an insane woman who is highly overprotective over my books. Hah! It was raining when we were on our way back to the car.

Look at two men under my cousin's the bright yellow powerpuff umbrella. Haha!

Got into a row with all my family members that night. Things were ugly.

Day 4.

Woke up feeling more grouchy than usual. My mum yelled at me at the top of her lungs when we went out. I was biting on to my lips to prevent myself from laughing out initially for her words were all hilariously wrong. My mind brushed them away nonchalantly like it would to anyone. She went on, screaming and yelling at me in the car. Tears started welling but I resisted them. Call me a crybaby if you want. I have enough nicknames to deal with. One more doesn't kill me.

It was hard. I knew I couldn't stand accusations but I had taken too many into my stride. I wonder if my mum's words were the last I could handle. Trying to stop myself from crying must be the world's most difficult task to me. I wouldn't show them my tears; didn't want to give them/ her the satisfaction that their/ her words hurt. But still tears fell. I held on to the music blasting in the car. It wasn't enough. I struggled to think of happy thoughts. There was none. I desperately pulled happy memories from my mind. With S.V. With HMT. With DLZ. I found myself smiling widely at the memories but they were only a one-time only short haven. Every time a memory ended, I had to whirl my memory wheel to find another happy one.

I closed my eyes and thought nothing but the happy times with my friends who have saved me from many black worlds of mine. It was probably the first time I tried so hard to concentrate. I nearly broke down.

I was silent for the rest of the day. I shopped alone for the first time during the trip. I couldn't stand anyone's company. I was too irate. I didn't know what I would do. I had many frightening thoughts and trust me, none were good. I didn't trust myself to not strike out. I knew I was turning into a monster inside and I didn't want to. My dad confronted me once my mum and brother went out of the car. He talked and talked but I didn't reply. And when I finally did, I regretted it immediately.

You know how they always say when you stuff matters into your little heart machine often, it will blow when it is too full to contain them anymore? Well, that happened. I started yelling and bawling. My dad talked. I yelled. He replied. I shrieked. The anger built was more than I could hold back and he got the full verbal effect. He told me not to shout and I shouted that that was the reason I kept quiet. I don't think any of my friends want to see this side of me. I know I am scary. Because I'm scared of myself too.

That was the first time in the first five years that I cried in front of my dad.

Aye, I told you it was ugly.

Day 5, last day.

My temper cleared up but I was still feeling horrible. My mum tried to make peace. My brother? Eat shit. I didn't have all the rage in me anymore. Tiffs and arguments always wear me out. I didn't want to make peace or whatever. I just wanted to be in my own world again.

Came back to Singapore that evening and I immediately went on to msn to chat with my darlings. Funny how they can make me smile like no one in my family can.

Reflection

2011-03-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

Always recalling the day happenings, know where went wrong, what I did wrong. How my attitude was, what perspective I was on. Glancing back, I often realize little details I've missed, mistakes I shouldn't have make.

In the past, I often wonder why do I think so much. Scrutinizing does shit to my life, and I'd learned it the hard way because my mind is screwed. Patricia once told me that she rather be ignorant to her surroundings and live happily.

Me?

I don't know what's worse honestly. To be ignorant and allow matters to happen, or to be understanding and let life screws your mind. Things concerning the world or society are always never easy and simple. Can I change them? Or should I just accept and bend my ways for them?

I seriously wish no one would be like me. A being that is a man____ of people and things.

Aye, now that I know my faults, I should change them.

Meeting

2011-03-25T15:21:00.005+08:00

Whatzup! I slept my way throughout the entire alarm and ended up awaking at 10.30am. Our meeting time was 12pm. It takes me about 1 hour to freshen up and 1 hour to head to TP. In short, I was late. As usual.

Uh huh. Fiona, Patricia and Clive were there at the Mushroom when I arrived. And all of us were waiting for Wan Wen who lives at the North of Singapore and left her house at 12pm. A concubine indeed, haha. We skipped the booth and went straight to FOOD because we were all hungry ;D

I am sooo sick and tired of Fastfood. I think I'm gonna die if I eat another burger or fries. I am already feeling fat after coming from Penang, and now? I feel fatter. Haha. S.V.! Time to exercise yow.
There is an AE meeting today at 2pm and yeah... I don't know what to say. I was feeling drowsy after gorging on chicken and Qing Xuan's words didn't enter my brain well. Haha, look at what food can do to you. I am going to stop eating fried stuff. Like seriously. I kind of know that my body isn't very well now so I've to sacrifice my cravings. Blegh. Hate this.

When the meeting ended, Wan Wen, Fiona, Patricia and I being professional artists, decided to be generous and draw a free portrait of Benson. The result is in my Facebook album titled "Random" or something like that. Hahaha!

Went for facial today and I was screaming with an effort that can deafen anyone's ears when my eyebrows were trimmed. From now on, I have high respect and admiration for all women (including me. Hah!). I said "There are many reasons why women can endure pain better than man," and I'm definitely sticking to it.

I want this awesome shirt! Definitely on my 'want' list now!

Will be posting my penang trip soon. PLUS PHOTOS! And a series of posts.

Stay tuned ;)

Story of Lor Mee and You Mian

2011-03-24T20:33:00.004+08:00

I went to Brenda's house today to model for her school project and naturally, I have her photos on hand! ;) However, I cannot reveal her work when she has yet to hand in so I will post up the behind-the-scenes' ones after this entire post.

Brenda's house is so... chilling, as always. It makes a person want to sit on the sofa and nua the entire day. Hahaha. Darling uploaded the photos on to her computer when we were done with the shoot and then... we were stuck. She stared at me while asking what she should name the album as. I gave a little 'hm' and said it should be simple yet sophisticated, profound and deep. There was this huge silence that hung between us before Brenda blurted "Lor Mee."' WHAT!? I gave her the classic expression and we burst out laughing. Seriously, girl? Lor Mee.

Lor Mee.

You know what's the problem, huh? The problem is! You didn't include my You Mian inside! And that's horrid of you! Haha, Anyway the selection process of photos begun and we had quite a trouble deciding. Afterward, we watched Tomb Raider which was entertaining, though Brenda and I kept commenting on Angelina Jolie's lips, figure and boobs.

The small shooting set

Brenda and her Lor Mee

The two main stars of the shoot!

Eating her Lor Mee during half-time

Home's the best damn thing

2011-03-23T21:31:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.

I'm back from holiday though it doesn't really seemed like a holiday except when I was shopping. It had been an eventful 5 days trip to Penang and I really love my bed as a result. Like they say, there's no place better than home!

There are many many questions for many people; many outings await me; many things that requires me to do and many happenings for me to blog about. But I can't make it tonight. I really can't.

I'm extremely tired. All I want to do now is to snuggle under my blanket with a book in hand. Uh huh, I know you want that too, Jennifer. Hahas, too bad you have to wait for two more days till your school is over.

I have to wake up early tomorrow for a shoot with darling again. Yep, I am a busy little woman indeed. And I need the snooze right now for the energy tomorrow.

Update will be next time.

Red clouds

2011-03-17T19:25:00.002+08:00

Evening.

I have begun to withdraw from my paradise after reading 6 books consecutively, a sad thing to admit. I have been busy for the past few days due to various events which I will elaborate below and because of that, I am heavily deprived of sleep.

Let's see... Tuesday was pretty short for I woke up when the Sun was frying my ass out and I had to get ready to head over to Brenda's house for the shoot. I was late eventually, because it was raining. We didn't get much done due to camera errors and stuff. In the end, I was lazing around her house (as usual!) till about 7.30 when I had to return home for dinner. Yeah, that summarizes Tuesday.

Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday except that Jennifer joined us. I gave her the surprise which got her excited. Hah. We were very much productive on Wednesday because Jen was the model now and both are in the same course and there was much to discuss. Me? I became the saikang warrior, or if I'd like to say it nicely, the 'assistant' of their shoot. You know, holding their belongings, doing odd jobs... Hahaha. I jest. Triplet managed to catch up a lot. Oh, Jen and I set our hormones on fire by discussing our very much favourited science fiction romance fantasy novels. Haha! We were talking about dudes and girls and ah... it was nostalgic. We often go insane about books during Secondary school. I love those times (;

Thursday, which is today, is torturing. Nope, nothing about the event was horrible. It was the waking up process before I head to Damai that killed me. Every day of sleeping late (around dawn?) has ultimately wrecked my bio clock into smithereens. And I had to wake up at 6 in the morning today. Damn right!

Shit.

I swore I was going to take MC when I realised I wasn't going to school. Haha. So, I had left with no choice but to haul my butt all the way to Damai Secondary. Attended a make up course by the make up artist who gave the crash course for Ms Yeo with me as the model. Lol, I am certain that i should stick with make up because I suck in hair styling. I had fun, so did Jennifer. It has been a long long time since I played with eyeshadows and mascara. My hand was itching to play with the make. Haha.

Later, Jen and I went to petal Mac for lunch and something extremely embarrassing happened to us. We kind of- No, wait. Jen kind of flipped both of our trays on the floor because we sat at the suckers' seats and there wasn't much space. We'd caused quite a commotion and everyone turned and stared at us. I couldn't help but to laugh hysterically. For some reasons, I don't know why. But the situation was funny!

Oh my, what a nice day. And I'm leaving tomorrow. See you guys soon ;D

They

2011-03-14T22:08:00.002+08:00

Say it pays to wake up early. Apparently I didn't get paid.

This job-in-charge messaged me at 8 in the morning. I was sleeping. It was around 12 near 1 in the afternoon when I woke up. Know what the message says? We will be having an interview at 3pm at Raffles place blah blah blah...

I had a shock. 3 pm? Dude I woke up at 1! Can't you give me an earlier notice? I had to rush down and it was NOT fun.

Met up with Patricia then blah blah blah. I didn't qualify for the job in the end because I couldn't attend their damn briefing. Had dinner afterwards then shopping before the both of us met up with Jovey and the two other concubines.

Went to the Japanese craft event thing, drank some awesome green tea, ate, had white wine, did some HTHT before we left for home.

Oh I feel so busy because there isn't a rest day for me for the next two days.

Apocalypse happens

2011-03-13T17:40:00.002+08:00

What is this emotion I am feeling? For a girl who has a complete family and safe home. For someone whose needs are fulfilled and wants satisfied. Why am I depressed and upset?

An uncomprehending reason hidden from a confounder.

Paradise

2011-03-11T21:06:00.003+08:00

I cried buckets for my first boyfriend. The pain and insult he went through was too much that I started crying till I was highly dehydrated.

My second boyfriend had me squealing with laughter and giggling with excitement. Then he said to wait for him for several months again before leaving me in anxiety and tears.

I am moving on to my third.

P.S. Jen, do you want my second boyfriend?

DSLR's virgin outing

2011-03-08T20:21:00.004+08:00

All right, I woke up early for an interview which lasted for 15 minutes. Yeah, vow. Patricia and I were feeling so out of place at the area at Tanjong Pagar because everyone was wearing business suits and formal wear. Only the both of us were is T-shirts and jeans. Haha. There were so many international people and so many skyscrapers. As usual, Patricia and I couldn't find the interview's destination and we got lost. We looked like some rural tourists that have arrived in Singapore for the first time because we just stood there and gawked at the buildings. High... So high!

We finally found the place with the help of an security officer, so kudos to him! After the 'interview' (it was just filling in of forms), Patricia and I went around and explored Tanjong Pagar. And as I've promised, we took photos!

Haha. I was using her as a try-out for Saturday's shoot =\ We went to MPH bookstore and camped there for two solid hours because we are avid bookworms! Afterward, we headed over to Marina Square for lunch where Darling joined us. Patricia went home first because Brenda and I would be shooting for some time. We took the MRT to Chinatown and oh my god, I am extremely sick of trains now.

We walked and shot and walked and shot. The sun was burning and we were melting. I felt sticky and hot and tired after shooting for two hours and Darling was hungry. So we went to her favourite Durian Pancake shop at People's Park for a snack. The uncle was super nice because we were shooting how the pancake was made and he paused for us to finish our shot. Ooo, I have been meeting a lot of Samaritans today ^^ Haha!

We shot a few more shots before calling it a day. Overall, I feel very accomplished! :D Very exhausted and my legs' muscles ached a whole lot. But it was great!

Infiltrator

2011-03-07T21:38:00.003+08:00

Good morning!

My name is Felicia and I am from class 10S13. I take 4H2 subjects - Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Mathematics. Nice to meet you^^

Apparently everyone fell for the lie. No joke, everyone. I infiltrated TPJC today to visit my dear friends. Saw the usual peeps and Jamie was like "Wah this girl! Every term ah!" Hahaha.

I met many new people today like Angela, Lisa, and that guy-whom-I-forgot-his-name that is together with Shane. Sorry, I am terrible with names =\ I went around the school, feeling like a politician. Well, simply because I was greeted with familiar faces almost everywhere. And I saw Han Wei! I had quite a chat with everyone. Made jokes here and there and laughed like a madwoman. I got to catch up a lot with Dong too! I am a happy kid now *skips around the room happily*

Jasmine was somewhat amused that I was able to talk to anyone without even knowing their names. Hahaha, the ultimate power of acquainted strangers! Shane was still the usual irritating dude who makes a hell lot of jokes during a meal. Hehs. It was another enjoyable trip to TPJC except that I was really tired because I couldn't sleep the night before. Either I was too excited or too anxious.

Sigh. And I have to sleep early today for I have to wake up early tomorrow for an interview. Then it will be outing with darling.

Oh I promise pictures tomorrow! :D

2011-03-06T16:00:00.005+08:00

How many times has one typed something to erase it afterward?

Countless for me.

I hope you are well, my dearest friend. I can offer you comfort and encouragement, but they change nothing. You are still on your own, leading your own life; shaping your own future. I have no intention of saying you are alone. I just mean that you are holding on to the master control of your life. You can fall down. You can stand up. You can be angry. You can cry.

Only if you allow yourself to.

Jia you ah!

Musical motivation

2011-03-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

It's funny how fate twists and we become acquainted. Another twirl and we turned friends. I'm glad to find another group that make me laugh as much as my cliques do.

I had to wake up at 12 in the afternoon which was super early for my body clock. You know how when exams are over, everything is screwed including your body clock? Yeah, I was tired. And being tired, I had every and any excuses to be late (No I jest. I am simply covering my ass for being late. Hah) But it turned out that I was still somewhat... er.. somehow in time for AE sub-committee's meeting. Everyone then headed over to NYDC at Bedok Point Mall for lunch for some, high tea for others. Well I had a pleasant meal to start my day so I was a happy little girl who wasn't talking much during the meal because I was still in my morning daze.

Clive interacted with two tables here and there. Oh, I've forgot to mention. Welcome, the new member for AE sub-committee: Vanessa! Merry meet, girl ;) So as usual, we talked about idols from Korean to Japanese, to Mathematics. Yes. Mathematics. Then when the happy moment was over, Clive dropped the bomb - he has stepped down as the leader of AE. I owed Clive a shocked expression so... OMFGWHYISTHISHAPPENING!? Hahaha, that was the perfect expression you were looking for right, Clive? Hahaha.

After the meal, everyone went to the Karaoke session except Wan wen, Patricia, Benny and me who went to Clive's house. I love his instruments and I can totally sleep with them!

I mean literally! Not sleep but sleep! Whatever, I know you get my drift. I played drums for the first time in my life and going to his house made me very motivated to continue to play my guitar. HAHAHA. Clive performed for us until I was getting very warm and dove inside his room. Hahas, they first played Monopoly Deal, some game I sucked a lot in so I refuse to embarrass myself. Wan wen played plants VS zombies. Then somehow, we started HTHT which was going very wild because they were laughing at my i-don't-know-what-happened-English. I was pronouncing words incorrectly and I had butter tongue. OH MY GUOD. Yeah, in the end I was the biggest joke in the room. Hahahahaha.

Left Clive's house at approximately 7.30pm. Went for dinner with Patricia, Benson and Bryden. And we continued talking till 9 before we parted our ways.

Well, it was fun today. And I am definitely going to pool soon. I hope :\

So long then :D